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Yes, they did have large bull horns. And yes, they did have a blue tail. It was short, fluffy, and looked like a fox’s tail on acid, but, according to Adrien, it was “perfect and exactly accurate.”
Unfortunately for us, though, Stevie (the owner) hadjustrun out of fake fangs, but, “I do have a full set of raptor teeth lined with black gums if you’d like.”
They were thin, sharp, fangless, had a greyish-yellow tint, and were too big for Adrien’s mouth. But, once again, they were deemed “perfect and exactly accurate.” As was the black samurai wig he put on in lieu of a man-bun.
I tried to stop him when he went for the loincloths, but I was cry-laughing by that point, and my arms were too weak to wrestle the leather out of his hands. Thankfully, I was able to at least convince him to put the slutty strip of fabricoverhis pants.
The horns and tail were also attached to his person, and he puffed out his chest proudly when he came out of the changing room.
He looked like he’d walked straight out of my childhood nightmares; or a 90’s grunge album cover.
“How turned on are you right now,Ssanchesz?” he lisped through his large fangs as soon as we left the store, his spit spraying everywhere.
It sent me into hysterics. I crumpled to the ground, tears streaming down my face as my forehead hit my knees. And from that point on, every time I looked at him or he spoke, it became funnier. Until I was convinced this was the end. Thatthiswas how Adrien had decided he’d end my life as payback for what I’d done on Halloween.
By the time we made it back to Alice’s borrowed SUV, I was clutching my sides, gasping for breath, and begging him to stop talking. I climbed into the car and sunk against the seat, my arm draped over my liquid stomach.
Adrien took off the horns and tail before getting in.
“Sseatbelt,Ssanchesz.”
I huffed a weak laugh, my head rolling against the seat. My hand flailed for the seatbelt, but my muscles were too weak to pull it all the way across my torso. So I just gave up, letting it spring back to my shoulder.
Adrien chuckled before clipping it in place for me. “Sspoiled brat,” he murmured affectionately. Or maybe it wasn’t affectionate, and I was just punch-drunk.
“These pictures are going to be all over the internet by the end of the week,” I predicted.
“I don’tfink anyone recogniszed me after I put the teefin. Didn’tssee any phones.”
That was because saidteefbulged out of his mouth and pushed his lips back. And he was right. Between that, the blue skin, and the rest of his ridiculous costume, he was almost entirely unrecognizable.
“I took lots of pictures. I’ll be more than happy to share,” I said. The ones we’d taken in the photobooth were gold, and they’d beenhisidea. He’d practically thrown me over his shoulder and carried me inside. The man’s survival instincts were about as sharp as safety-scissors.
He shot me a look as the car pulled out of the parking lot. “You promissed.”
I had. And I fully intended to keep my promise. But that didn't mean I couldn't tease him about it.
“At the very least, it’ll be my wallpaper for the foreseeable future. I’ll order a life-size cut-out when I get home, put it beside Jamie’s bed while she’s sleeping.”
Speaking of giving my best friend a heart-attack, I needed to call her at some point and let her know I’d slept with her future husband.
“This was fun,” I muttered at the window, watching the lights and the trees blur by. The sun was starting to set.
“Yeah?”
“Mmm. Good exercise, too. Feels like I did a thousand sit-ups.”
Adrien pulled the monster teeth out and chucked them into a plastic bag, then wiped his palm against his thigh. Once, twice. “Would you want to do it again?”
“What? The costume thing?” Because yes. Yes, I would.
“No, I mean... would you want to hang out like this again?”
And for the first time in the last two hours, I didn’t feel the urge to laugh when I looked at him. Was he asking what I thought he was asking? Or was my brain doing that thing where it made shit up and lied to me?
“I dunno,” I said carefully. “It depends.”
He seemed very adamant on keeping his eyes strictly on the road ahead. “On?”
