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She and I needed to re-establish some of our boundaries.
“I thought I’d at least try to look nice for when they take my mugshot later,” I replied dryly.
The corners of his mouth tipped. “Mission accomplished, then. I like the dark thing you did with your eyes.”
I snapped my fingers before pointing one at him. “None of that,” I said.
“I’m just saying, they’re mesmerizing.” His shoulders relaxed a touch as he slipped his hands into the pockets of his slacks. “More so than usual, I mean.”
I’d never forgive my heart for the way it reacted to his words. To the way it hummed and hammered and sent a rush of warmth to my face as Adrien gazed into my soul.
“It’s really nice to see you,” he said.
I’d never forgive my brain for immediately thinking,Same. It’s really nice to see you, too.
I steeled my spine. Retightened my fists.
“I’m not a charity case, Adrien. You had no right to do all this behind my back.” But even as I said the words, I knew I was grasping at straws. Which was probably why they didn’t hold any of the venom I wanted them to.
“Is that a joke? You think this ischarity?” He paused for a few seconds, dark eyes bouncing between mine. “It’s not charity, Sanchez. It’s fucking karma. Two members of my family stole something important from you, and all I’m trying to do now is give a sliver of it back. But you’re so stubborn and I’ve… been such an asshole over the last few weeks that I knew you’d never accept it if it came directly from me. Hence the elaborate scheme. I know I’ve been terrible to you, I just… wanted to make things right.”
He stopped again to study me and give me a chance to speak. When I remained silent, he said, “If it’s not something you still want, then that’s okay. You don’tneeda college education or a law degree, Ria. You’re fucking perfect and worthy just the way you are, and I really need you to know that. But it’s yours if it’s something thatyoustill want. And if you decide to give it a try but change your mind halfway through, it won’t matter. I already talked to Sunny. If you don’t finish, he’ll send me the bill.”
And I’dneverforgive myself for getting emotional over what he was saying. For my chest squeezing the painful way it did.
I tried to resummon my anger; demanded that it come back.
“I didn’t ask you to make things right. I asked you to leave me alone,” I said. “You’re not my friend, you’re not my boyfriend, you’re just some guy I fucked. You have norightto meddle in my personal life like this.”
I regretted it as soon as the words sniped out of my mouth, but by then it was too late. I was looking right into his eyes when I said it. I saw how deep they cut.
He nodded, the corners of his mouth tipping down as his blinking slowed, became incomplete. He averted his gaze. “Just some guy you fucked,” he repeated. “That’s…”
He stopped, chin dipping in another nod, like he was finally coming to terms with something he’d been in deep denial about.
“Has it occurred to youeven onceover the last couple of weeks that I’m an actual human being, Ria? With real feelings and all the other bullshit that comes with it?”
My throat swelled so thick that even if I did have anything else to say, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to get the words out.
After what felt like an eternity, Adrien fingered the edge of the blue folder and pushed it to the side. “Okay,” he said. “Point taken. I won’t interfere anymore. Sorry.”
He could have left if there. Told me to get the fuck out of his office, the building, his life. Called security.
Instead, he decided to return the blow.
“You weren’t,” he said, his glassy gaze finding mine again. “Just so we’re also clear as to where I stand, you weren’t just some girl I fucked. I may not be your friend, and I may not be your boyfriend, but that’s only because you don’t want those things with me. Not because I don’t want them with you. It wasn’t just sex for me. I have… very real feelings for you, Ria. If it were up to me, we… things would be very different between us. But at least now there’s no confusion as to where we both stand.”
My breathing had grown increasingly shallow, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t come up with a single thing to say back. So, I just stood there and stared.
Adrien observed me for a few moments, gaze swimming over my features like he was trying to memorize them. Or maybe I was projecting.
His throat worked, and the right corner of his extremely un-mediocre mouth tilted, revealing a single dimple. But his eyes were filled with so much regret that it just made him look more sad.
“You’re staring again, Sanchez,” he whispered.
It was the crack in his stupid, thick voice that did it. I was holding it together just fine until then. But the moment he said those words, in that tone, at that volume, my soul cracked in half, and my lower lip wobbled.
Adrien’s sad little smirk died on the spot, his whole upper body tightening.
