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But before she could answer,Hoebeansslithered between my legs, stillpurring. He sounded like a fucking motorboat.
“Shut up, slut!” I yelled at his stupid, fat, adorable face.
“Wow,” Jamie said again.
I narrowed my eyes at her. “Have you ever seen him act like that? With anyone?”
Jamie had to press her lips together again to stop from smiling. “Mhhmm. Yup. Lots of really surprising, unusual behavior all around.”
Which reminded me. “Andyou,” I hissed again, repointing my finger at her stupid, symmetrical, beautiful face. “Mark my words, Jamie Paquin, I will notbe attending your and Adrien’s destination wedding. I don’t care how much you cry and beg. I do not approve.”
She blinked at me like I’d lost my mind. Like it had literally fallen out of my skull and splattered onto the floor in front of her. “Wow.”
I stepped away from Toebeans who was continuing to rub his—and Adrien’s—scent all over my legs. “I cannot believe you two. I’ve never felt so disrespected in my life. For shame, you guys.For shame.”
Jamie crossed her arms, her entire face lit with amusement. “So he, like, reallygets under your skin, huh?”
Where had she been the entirety of this last week? How was this news to her?
“He’s Satan personified, Jamie. The man’s got a stick so far up his ass that it’s stabbed clean through the part of his brain that’s responsible for keeping his ego in check. What do you think?”
She shrugged, lips quirking. “To be honest, he doesn’t seem that bad. I got good vibes, and Toebeans obviously loves him. He’s way nicer than you made him sound… kind of funny, too.”
I blinked at her. “You’re talking about Adrien… the arrogant gargoyle that was just in here, demanding that I refer to him as ‘sir’ from now on?”
What was the point of pressing her lips together like that when her smile always leaked through anyway?
“He’s a lot better-looking in person, too,” she said. “And taller. He also smells really nice.”
I snapped my fingers at her. “No.”
“I’m just saying, he smells like he’d be really good at sex.”
My neck was breaking out in hives. “What the fuck does that even mean?”
“I feel like it’s pretty self-explanatory. And based on the whole ‘sir’ thing, I bet he’s into some really kinky stuff.” She wiggled her brows at me. “I definitely got a vibe.”
Gross. Let’s fucking hope we never find out.
“I’m never going to approve. You can do a billion times better than that human mosquito bite. I will fight you every step of the way on this.”
Her whole mouth was shaking now.
“Oh my god, whatis so fucking funny?”
She shook her head and bit back another laugh. “I’m just saying… there’s a slight chance that emotions are running high, and that you may have misjudged him. Just a little bit.”
That wasn’t even close to being in the realm of possibility.
“Maybe you should come on the run with us tomorrow,” I offered her sweetly. “We can start talking about how nice and funny he is as soon as we wake up. It’ll be such fun!”
She rolled her smiling lips. “Touché.”
Toebeans placed a paw on my knee, pleading his case with soft meows.
“Find somewhere else to sleep tonight,” I told him coldly before walking to my room and slamming the door.
That’ll teach him.
