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SixMonthsLater
KimberlyMartinchecked her watch for the tenth time, a knot of frustration forming in her stomach.She’dpassed up a ride with friends to the off-campus celebratory dinner for the intramural league.DespiteknowingFinnHendricks’ penchant for tardiness, she still expected him to show up.Herattempts to contact him via phone or text—futile.Nothing’schanged.Predictable.
Now, she had to call anUberif she wanted to join the group for a dinner she’d helped to organize.She’dlooked forward to celebrating her degree in communications and helping the transition to the new leadership for the popular multi-sport program.Becauseshe graduated after the fall semester,Kim’sgroup was small by university norms, making this celebration extra special.
Kim'sthoughts drifted back to her happiness and pride the evening before graduation.Herparents had catered an intimate dinner for family and close friends in the area.Shesuspected thatFinnonly accompanied her so he could spend time with her parents.Whenit concerned something she wanted him to attend, he wentMIA.
WhydidIlisten to my heart, not my brain?Ihalf-expectedFinnto pull his disappearing act tonight—so why didIconvince myself that today was different?Heknew how muchIlooked forward to celebrating with my friends. “Work” prevented him from attending the graduation ceremony.Willhe blame “work” for ghosting me tonight?
Theanger bubbled in her chest, not directed atFinn, but at herself for tolerating this repeated behavior during their eighteen-month relationship.He’dcome up with some lame excuse for why he was late, a "sincere apology" leading the way.Orhe'd try to claim that she had given him the wrong day or time.Kimgrabbed her phone to check her calendar and confirmed her note from three weeks prior, whenFinnhad accepted her invitation—she had confirmed it again with him just yesterday.Hecan't deny he had the correct date.
Screwhim.Kimordered anUber, texted her friends that she would arrive soon, and then waited in the lobby.Anidea popped into her mind.I’llask the driver to go toFinn’stownhouse.I’llremind him we have a date tonight if he’s there.
ShespottedFinn’sprecious blackPorscheparked in front of his townhouse—odd since he always parked in the garage.Sheasked the driver to stop for a moment, but the front door opened before she could hop from the car.Kimwatched asFinnand a woman she didn’t recognize stepped outside.Bothdressed for an elegant black-tie event,Finntucked his stunning companion into the passenger seat as if she were a fragile princess.
Furyrushed through her, andKimforced her voice to reveal nothing as she asked the driver to continue to the original destination.LasttimeFinngaslights me—Imay be naïve, butI’mnot blind.Noway he’s charming his way out of this.
Kimblanked her mind and scrolled through her phone, looking again at her post-grad plans.She’dapplied to three universities:Vancouver,Toronto, andTampa.VancouverandTorontoaccepted her for the fall semester, nine months away.Tampaoffered herJanuaryenrollment, and the field she chose—Communications—would begin a year-long program that semester.
Shehad planned to take time off to work and travel before beginning the next phase in her education.Finnhad mentioned long weekends to visit cities on her bucket list, but the vision of continued cancellations and oh-so-sincere excuses cast a dark cloud over those plans.
Hewon’t change.I’vetolerated his broken promises too long to expect him to follow through on any plan.Thenext nine months will bring more of the same.
Kimavoided confrontations.ArguingwithFinnleft her frustrated and questioning herself.Themake-up sex no longer offsets the exasperation and hurt feelings caused byFinn’scontinual lying.Whystay in the relationship, anyway?
“Goodquestion,” she told herself aloud, glancing up from her phone.
Idon’t even likeFinnmuch these days.Nobutterflies whenIsee him, no sparks when we kiss… how long haveI—we?—just gone through the motions?Toodistracted by senior activities and complacent with the convenience of having a boyfriend?
Kimglanced back at her phone and stared at the website forFloridaCoastalUniversity.Withits year-round summer,Tampaenticed her, as did moving closer to her older brother,Dave, and his wife,Lauren.ThatleftVancouverandTorontolacking.
Thethought of relocating thousands of miles away caused a weight she hadn’t realized she carried to crumple and fall.Ican end things withFinnand free ourselves from this relationship of convenience and frustrations.
Howhad she allowed a relationship that began with such sparks and possibilities to dissolve into…ambivalence?Habit?Nothingness?Nomore…I’mbreaking things off with him tonight… ifIcan even reach him.
“Tampa,” she said. “I’mheading your way.”
PoppingtheSIMcard from the phone,Kimtossed her cell phone into the sink filled with water and watched it drop to the bottom.Erasedand factory reset, she knew it contained no data, but “drowning” the phone satisfied her.Sheslipped theSIMcard into her wallet and resumed packing.She’dthrow the phone in the trash when she changed planes inSeattle.
Overkill.Kimrealized that, but the ruined phone symbolized the fresh start awaiting her inTampa.Smallprice to pay to reclaim my self-esteem.
Shehad no reason to second-guess her decision.Shetold only a few friends she planned to leaveVancouver, andKimwould call the others after she settled in atFloridaCoastalUniversityinTampa.Herparents gave their blessings for her to study for her master's degree inFlorida, pleased that she wanted to spend time withDaveandLauren.
Theyknew that she andFinnhad ended their relationship right after graduation.Kimmentioned that he had disappointed her too many times, and even thoughFinnprofessed his commitment to their relationship, his actions proved otherwise.Tooembarrassed to admit seeing him with that woman—or to describe what happened when she showed up at his place to break up,Kimkept her explanation vague.Herparents likedFinn, andKimtold herself she didn’t want to taint their image of him.
Whybother?Truthfully,Finndoesn’t care about anything not related to himself.ButIdon’t want to advertise my stupidity in letting him walk all over me… the lack of self-respect.Plus, he had the nerve to claim my “poor communication skills” as the reason for his actions.Delusional.Angry—at me because he couldn’t honor a commitment… not once, but too many times to count.Iwant to get out ofVancouverand away from him.
Kimheard the knock and her mother’s voice as she opened the door.
“Doyou need help, honey?”CarolineMartin’ssmile belied the hint of sadness in her eyes. “Weneed to leave soon.”
“Justabout finished.I’mglad you thought about shipping most of my stuff ahead of time.”Kimhugged her mom and then patted the bed beside her. “I’mjust hoping everything will fit in my dorm room.”
“YouknowDaveandLaurenhave plenty of space.I’msure they’re disappointed you decided not to live with them.”
“It’sa long commute, andI’dneed a car.Besides,I’llmeet more people living on campus and attending campus activities,”Kimsaid. “YouknowI’llspend plenty of time with them—weekends especially—andI’llsee them whenDavehas home games.Laurenpromised she’ll take me to the beach—inJanuary, can you imagine?”
“Thinkof me when you’re sitting in the sun.Didyou talk withFinn?”
