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Alek had already decided he was going to kill himself two weeks ago. Since then, every beat of his heart was another reminder of his cowardice.
Suicide suited Alek. A coward’s death for a coward. A selfless act from a selfish person. If Ian was too loyal to leave him, then Alek would do it for him. Ian would be mad at first, but he’d be better off. One day he’d see that.
Alek would have killed himself already, but planning a suicide was dreadfully time-consuming. It was a lot to ask of someone with depression. First, there was the business of leaving. He couldn’t very well kill himself at the Victorian, leaving Ian to clean up whatever mess was left behind.
There were also financial affairs to settle. The last thing Alek wanted was his money and treasures tied up in probate and auctioned off. Everything would go to Ian, or mostly everything. He’d set aside a chunk of cash to settle Ian’s mother’s mortgage, just in case Ian refused to spend Alek’s money out of some misguided sense of honor. He’d already anonymously paid offthe remainder of the Victorian’s mortgage via money order for the same reason. Alek would have to be gone before the deed came in the mail, lest the letter foiled his plans.
They were nearly at the greenhouse before Alek realized he had been walking without his bewhiskered invisible-to-everyone-but-him companion. Instead of feeling relieved by a brief break of sanity, Alek was unsettled. Had he upset his fox? She didn’t understand when he pretended she wasn’t there. The other day when he’d gently nudged her back with his ankle, she’d tucked her tail and ran away like he’d kicked her. That must be it. She was off sulking. Probably watching him from a shady knoll in the woods.
But his fox was getting sicker every day, and it was so hot, and he couldn’t leave water out for her this morning because Ian had very nearly caught him filling the bowl at the kitchen sink. Alek had said he was doing the dishes, something he never did, and had to actually see the task through to completion in order to keep his cover.
Before they rounded the corner, Ian covered Alek’s eyes with his palms. The sudden blindness heightened the rest of his senses. He could feel each beam of sunlight, the heat that slowly seeped into his skin, the rise and fall of Ian’s breathing like the tide of ocean waves.
Alek tried and failed to duck out of Ian’s grip.
“I said I wanted to surprise you,” Ian said. “Keep walking.”
“This is ridiculous. I could close my own eyes, or you could have used a blindfold.”
“You would peek in an instant.”
“Is the surprise that you finally greased the hinges?” The door to the greenhouse usually opened with a distinctly unpleasant screech.
“Patience,” Ian chided. “We’re almost there.”
Alek minded his footing as Ian led him down the brick path.The walk took longer than usual. Maybe Ian had carved the remainder of the path out from the blackberry brambles.
Water flowed somewhere up ahead. Was the statue a fountain? That was hardly a surprise. A fountain in a greenhouse? Who’d ever heard of such a thing?
Ian dropped his hand without warning and it took a few seconds for Alek to blink back the glaring daylight. When his vision adjusted, his eyes first caught on the fact that they were in a large clearing. Ian-sized saplings and leafy shrubs surrounded them, blocking the rest of the greenhouse from view. At his feet was a crystal-clear man-made pool, wrapping like a moat around an enormous oxidized-copper statue of Neptune perched atop an open shell. Neptune’s trident was cast downward, water arcing gracefully from the prongs.
“Surprise,” Ian said. He settled his hands on Alek’s hips and kissed the side of his neck.
Why did the Victorian have to be so magical? Why couldn’t they be living in a characterless 1960s ranch rambler with central AC? It was going to be difficult enough for him to say goodbye to the Victorian. Not as difficult as saying goodbye to Ian, but he wasn’t planning on saying goodbye anyway.
“The water’s clean.” Ian took Alek’s hand and unfastened his wrist brace.
“How did you…”
“It was a mosquito-infested swamp when I stumbled upon it two weeks ago. There was a huge crack in the soapstone. I don’t even want to think about what the steady leak would have done to the foundation if we neglected the greenhouse any longer.”
Alek faux shuddered. “The horror!”
“I had the guys drain the water and repair the crack. We only finished yesterday. It was very convenient that the heat wave had you squirreled away in the house.”
“How serendipitous.”
Ian pulled off Alek’s shirt and dropped to his knees, untying Alek’s shoes next.
“Repairing the fountain was tricky.” Ian removed Alek’s shoes and set them aside. “Especially since I couldn’t ask my antique restorer fiancé for his advice, but I muddled my way through in the end.”
Ian unbuckled Alek’s belt, his hands making quick work of the button and zipper, and then Alek was naked. It was far too hot for underwear and he’d finally been freed from his cast the week before. Despite the heat, goosebumps pebbled across his body.
Leaning forward, Ian grabbed Alek’s ass and wrapped his mouth around his cock. Alek pressed his lips together to stave back the involuntary moan that threatened. Sex just wasn’t something he was into anymore. He dropped a hand to Ian’s shoulder and pushed.
Ian sat back on his heels and ducked his head to wipe his mouth.
“It’s the meds,” Alek lied.
