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“I miss you,” she pouts. “I need best friend time.”
“Well, are you coming to my game tomorrow?”
“Obviously. What kind of question is that, biotch? I’m your biggest fan.”
“Let’s hang out afterward. Just the two of us. I could use some best friend time, too.” My mind goes to Christmas, which is only a few days away. “And you’re still coming over for a bit on Christmas Eve, right?”
“Again, obviously.”
“Didn’t know if you would be spending it with your other bestie,” I joke.
“I’m hanging out with him later in the day on Christmas.”
“Ouch.” I bring my hand to my chest in mock offense, even though I know she can’t see me. “He gets Christmas Day and I just get Christmas Eve?”
“That’s only because you’re busier on Christmas. Take it easy on me, okay? My therapist says I need to spend time with assholes like both of you on holidays to help with my daddy issues.”
“I thought you dated all those guys to help with your daddy issues.” I laugh so Lydia knows I’m kidding, which I’m sure she realizes. We always joke around like this.
“No. I date so many guys because of my daddy issues. Not to help them. Plus, I’m done with that. I’m sick of dating and hooking up with people I don’t like and never could.”
“Aw, I’m proud of you.” I’m no longer joking. This really is a big step for Lydia.
“Thanks, boo. I gotta go, but I’ll see you tomorrow.”
When I get home and walk inside the door, Morgan immediately jumps up off the couch and practically runs over to me. “I need to talk to you.”
“Where’s the fire, little sis?”
“Stop joking around. This is important.”
I can tell by her voice, it really is, so I stop laughing and look at her with a straight face. “What’s going on?”
“A friend of mine just came out to me today, and I want to know the best way to support her. Obviously, I’m cool with it, and it’s not like I don’t know how to act around lesbians. Thanks to my cool lesbian big sister. But I just want to make sure I’m doing what a friend should do. What did you expect from your friends, or at least, wish they would have done?”
“First of all, don’t use phrases like ‘It’s not like I don’t know how to act around lesbians.’ It sounds like we’re aliens or something. We’re just people. Treat her the same way you’d treat anyone else. Make sure she knows she can talk to you if she needs to, and then talk to her the same damn way you always have. Except, instead of asking if she likes any guys, ask if she likes any girls. Also, give her some time, but once she’s more comfortable with things, tell Jocelyn that I know someone who thinks she’s cute.”
Morgan shakes her head. “I didn’t say it was Jocelyn.”
Now, I do laugh. “You didn’t have to.”
Chapter 17
*Love Interest*
Christmas is definitely different this year. It starts out with my mom and I exchanging gifts as usual, but then we go over to Delilah and Mr. Howard’s house. After exchanging gifts with them, we all watch a Christmas movie together. My mom and Mr. Howard cuddle on the couch, while Delilah and I spread out across the floor. I miss half of the movie because we are all joking around and laughing together. It’s not a big deal since it’s just a Hallmark movie, which isn’t hard to follow anyway. Plus, this feels right. Now I understand what holidays are supposed to be like. It’s almost like having a whole family. It’s not that I’ve been unhappy with just my mom, but now I feel complete. I try to shake these thoughts from my head. Don’t get attached. Don’t get attached. I’m starting to worry how I’ll react if something happens between my mom and Mr. Howard. I’m scared to get too happy. With comfort comes expectations, and with expectations comes disappointment.
When we get back home, I have about an hour before Bug is supposed to come over, so I sit down at my desk to get all of my thoughts onto paper. In the past, I would have written this in my journal, but instead, I pull a piece of blank paper out of my notebook and write to Marjorie.
Merry Christmas! I know you won’t get this for over a week, but I still wanted to write to you. When there’s something I need to talk about, you’re the person I think of to talk to. Today was weird… but not in a bad way. It was weird as in different, but in the best way possible. It was probably the best Christmas I’ve ever had, and it’s not even over yet.
Do you ever get scared when things are going too well? Or is that just me? I try not to let myself get too caught up in the happy times, because I always worry that if I do, they’re going to get ripped away from me. My brain tells me if I care about something too much or hold it too tightly, it’s going to fall apart. I wish I didn’t think that way. I’m pretty sure it’s kept me from getting things I want.
I don’t know. Now I’m just going on and on, and you’re probably so confused because you understandably have no clue whatsoever what I’m talking about.
Anyway, I hope you had a great Christmas with your family. Do you have any fun traditions? Here’s something I’ve never told anyone because it’s so weird. On Christmas Eve, my mom and I each hide a real pickle (in a ziplock bag) somewhere in the Christmas tree. We do it one at a time, then time how long it takes for each of us to find it. Whoever takes longer has to drink the whole jar of pickle juice. Confession? Sometimes I lose on purpose because I just really love pickle juice, so it’s not like it’s actually a punishment. Not sure if I should have just admitted that, but oh well. I’m happy. This is the happiest I’ve ever been. That scares the shit out of me. I already rambled on about that once though, so I won’t do it again.
There was just a knock on my bedroom door. I better go. Miss you <3
