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I jump at the sound of Bug’s voice coming from behind my shoulder. I had no idea he moved back there to, I can only assume, read the note. “I don’t know, Bug. Why don’t you tell me what I should do?”
“I think you should just tell her who you are.” The nonchalant shrug of his shoulders matches his voice.
“You would say that. You’re a guy.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I don’t know. Guys are just genetically predisposed to think they could have a chance with anyone.”
“That’s not true. I happen to know my biggest crush, Zendaya, would never go for me.”
“Of course she wouldn’t, but I bet if you somehow ran into her in public, you would still shoot your shot, wouldn’t you?”
Bug shrugs once again. “Why not?”
Oh, I don’t know. The fact that she’s a huge star and has a movie star boyfriend might have something to do with it. Instead of saying this, I simply groan in response.
“I think you should write her back. It will be like you have a pen pal. That could be fun.”
“That makes it sound like I’m five.”
“Well, lez be honest, bestie, you’re kind of acting like you are.”
I push Bug’s shoulder playfully. Being friends forever and always putting up with me has earned him the right to tease me. “Whatever. I’ll write her back, but I don’t want you to read this one.”
Bug puts both hands in the air and backs away from me. “Fine, fine.” I don’t miss how his eyes dart from my face to my desk and then back to me.
“I’ll write it later.” He doesn’t have to speak out loud for me to know exactly what he’s thinking. “In the meantime, do you want to go for ice cream?”
Bug furrows his eyebrows at me. “Seriously?”
“Yes, seriously. Let’s go.”
“Fine. I’m coming.”
***
A few hours later, I’m back in my room, staring down at a blank piece of paper. The words came so easily when I wasn’t planning on actually giving the note to her. Now that I know I’m writing words for her to read, they won’t come. I put the pencil down and close my eyes. As soon as I do, I see her beautiful hazel eyes looking back at me. I see that smile shining as bright as the sun at the hottest part of the day. Now, it doesn’t seem so hard to think of the words.
Wow. I can’t believe you actually wrote back. Thank you so much for that, and thanks for being so kind about what I told you. Coming out is really hard. The world has come a long way, but it’s clear we still have a long way to go. Have you gotten any hate since coming out? From what I see, everyone loves you, but I know we don’t see everything, even when we think we do.
I’m scared of coming out because I’m worried about people making me feel like I’m not good enough. I know from experience what a terrible feeling that is. Two people in my life know and that’s good enough for me. At least for now.
Thanks again. I can’t even begin to express how much it means to me that you found a way to respond to my letter. You really are amazing.
I cross out the last line and instead add, PS - I would love to see the drunk note! Sounds fun :)
I smile in satisfaction. Cool and to the point. I can’t help but wonder if Bug is right. Will Marjorie and I continue to write notes back and forth and become sort of secret pen pals? Or will she just get bored of me and move on with her life? That option sounds much more likely.
Oh well. Either way, I will enjoy however long this lasts.
Chapter 6
Marjorie
“So, who are you going to homecoming with this weekend?”
I look up from my chemistry book that is hiding the note I found in my locker a week ago. I still haven’t written back since I’m unsure what to say. It’s not that I don’t want to write back. It’s just hard to find the right words when I don’t know who I’m talking to.
