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Annalise must not have had the same fears because after a few seconds, she broke the silence. “I want to go inside.”
Please. Fuck me. Finger me so hard that I scream out in both pleasure and pain. Brinley took a deep breath to keep herself from saying all of the things she wanted to say. She kept her voice level and calm, which was the complete opposite of how she felt. “You know what to do. Just do it the same way you would to yourself. Start with one and work your way up.” When Annalise looked at her with furrowed eyebrows and questioning eyes, Brinley squeezed her hand. “It’s going to feel good, don’t worry.”
Annalise nodded then circled her finger around hesitantly, which was inadvertently sensual and excellent foreplay. Brinley couldn’t remember a time she was more desperate for a finger. Then that finger was inside of her, exploring as it moved in and out. In and out. In and out.
“Is… is that good?” Annalise asked nervously, her voice so unsure Brinley couldn’t believe it.
How does she not realize how amazing she is? How is she already so fucking good at this?
“Yes.” Brinley nodded as a guttural moan escaped from her throat. Shit. Fuck. “More. Please. More.”
Annalise removed her one finger and replaced it with two then continued to explore the exact same way she was doing before.
“So. Good,” Brinley whispered, her voice barely audible between each of their gasping breaths. She was so close to the edge, but she wasn’t ready for this to end. “Wait,” she pushed out. She took a moment to catch her breath before forcing more words out. “D-do what you did the other night. C-copy whatever I do, but this time instead of doing it to ourselves, it will be to each other.”
“Okay.” The word was soft, but there was no hesitation behind it.
They were doing this. They were going to make each other come. It was what Brinley had thought about all those nights in bed alone, and now it was finally happening. She lay on her side facing Annalise and waited for her to do the same then moved a hand up her center, gasping when Annalise did the exact same. She massaged her clit in the same way she had shown Annalise to do it, and she repeated it perfectly. Brinley bit her lip so hard she tasted blood, but it was worth it to somewhat calm the synapses firing throughout her body. She needed this to last. She couldn’t come yet. No matter how much she wanted to…
She moved a finger inside of Annalise and pushed it in and out while she did the same. She added a second finger and pushed harder. She wasn’t sure who leaned in first, but soon they were making out while they both fucked each other hard. At the same time she felt herself toppling over the edge, Annalise moaned into her mouth. All of her muscles tightened as the orgasm shot through her. To the contrary, Annalise thrashed back and forth and screamed.
Damn, I love how vocal she is.
Neither of them spoke for a few minutes, and as Brinley stared up at her ceiling in total post-orgasm bliss, she wondered if Annalise had fallen asleep. That was, until Annalise’s soft voice cut through the silence.
“How do you know if… you’re not as straight as you once thought you were?”
Brinley sat up straight. This is serious. “Wait. Are you…?” Gay? Bisexual? Queer? Pan? Brinley let her voice trail off, because she wasn’t sure how to ask the question.
Annalise shrugged then brought her fingers up to her mouth and chewed on her nails. “I have no idea. That’s why I’m asking. How did you know you were gay?”
Brinley blew out a breath. She had come out in ninth grade. At this point, it was almost hard to remember being in the closet. “For me, it was pretty simple. Aside from it not being the societal norm, there wasn’t a ton to question.”
“When did you come out?”
“High school.”
Annalise groaned and threw her hands in the air. “Of course you did. I think I’m all up in my own head because of everything that’s been going on. I’m closer to thirty than I am to twenty, and I’ve never questioned this once… until the past few months. It doesn’t make sense.”
“It actually makes perfect sense.” Brinley put a hand on Annalise’s knee as Annalise watched her intently, clearly waiting for answers. “I’m not going to minimize my experience by saying it was easy. Anytime you feel or do things that are different from what society deems to be normal, it’s hard and confusing. It was much more cut and dry for me though. For as long as I can remember, I was always noticing girls, even before I could comprehend what that meant. It wasn’t like that with guys. I could convince myself I had a crush so I could talk about it with my friends, but it wasn’t the same as when I actually started developing crushes on girls. It’s the same today. A woman hits on me and all I want to do is hop into bed with her. A man hits on me and I feel like I could throw up. I’m a huge lesbian. So gay.” Brinley laughed but forced herself to become serious. She squeezed Annalise’s knee. “I take it you’ve actually liked guys in the past, right? Enjoyed kissing them? Got turned on having sex with them? Developed real feelings?”
Annalise nodded. “Of course. None of that was fake. Except, maybe, a few of the orgasms, but that’s pretty par for the course.”
Brinley put up a hand. She couldn’t listen to that bullshit. “Not with women, but that’s a whole other subject.” Brinley shook her head. Focus. This is important. “Anyway, it makes perfect sense that you never considered it until now. I can only imagine how confusing it is for women who identify as anything other than a hardcore lesbian. Your whole life you’ve had feelings for the people that the world claims you should. You get in a relationship that looks exactly like the ones on TV and in movies and you feel everything you’re supposed to feel.”
“But shouldn’t I have also felt that for women before now?”
Brinley shrugged. This was somewhat uncharted territory for her. “Maybe. And maybe you did, but you never really thought about it until now. Before the past few months, did you ever take extra notice of women on TV, movies, or just in general?”
“Well, yeah, but….”
At the same time Annalise’s eyes widened, Brinley pointed a finger at her. “ Exactly . I’m not saying it necessarily means anything. I’m just saying I’m sure it’s easy to blow off those thoughts when you’re sitting next to your boyfriend.”
Annalise groaned and rubbed her hands over her face. “But couldn’t you use the same type of argument in the opposite way? That I’m only considering it now because of what I’m doing?”
“I guess you could.”
Annalise groaned once again. “Then how do I know?”
