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“Sounds good.” Tori put a hand around my waist and while I was pretty sure it was just so I wouldn’t fall over, it still made me want to jump out of my own skin. But in a good way… if that was possible. “Don’t worry about cleaning anything up here. I’ll come back tomorrow morning and take care of it.”
After saying goodbye to Lisa and Abigail, Tori locked up the barn and we started the walk back to our house, which luckily wasn’t very far. Just like before, Tori’s arm was around my waist as we walked. I wasn’t sure if it was helping or hurting, because it was definitely helping me to stay on my feet, but was also making me feel weak at the knees. Damn. This alcohol had me admitting things to myself that I really shouldn’t be.
“I think I know why you’ve been so weird lately.” Oh no. It was one thing to tell myself things I didn’t want to hear. I couldn’t word vomit all my thoughts on Tori.
I felt Tori tense up beside me. “I thought we weren’t talking about that.”
“But what if what I’m not talking about is different from what you’re not talking about?” Why can’t I just stop talking? Good lord. “I heard you on Halloween by the way. I wasn’t actually asleep.”
Tori’s arm fell from my waist and she took a step away from me. “What do you mean?”
“I think you know what I mean.”
Tori shook her head back and forth. “We can’t talk about this. Not out here.”
It only took a few more minutes to get home, which was good since those were some of the most awkward minutes of my life. Tori walked in front of me the whole time and didn’t say one word. Great. I must have pissed her off really badly. Why the hell did I have to open my big mouth?
As soon as I closed the front door. I grabbed Tori’s jacket to keep her from walking away from me. “I’m really sorry for bringing that up. I shouldn’t have said anything. I honestly don’t know why I did. I want to blame the alcohol, but I’m just an idiot.”
When Tori turned around to face me, I hated what I saw. Her lips were turned down into a frown and her cheeks were streaked with tears. I wanted to apologize again, but Tori spoke before I could. “You’re not the idiot. I am.”
“You’re not an idiot, Tori. I promise.”
Tori threw her hands up and groaned. “Maybe I’m not an idiot, but I am a terrible person.”
Okay, now she was really talking crazy. “You are definitely not a terrible person.”
Tori scoffed as if my words were complete bullshit. “I am. Who says they want to steal their dead best friend’s wife? I’ve been beating myself up every day since I said it.”
“You have?”
“Of course I have! I don’t even know why I said it.”
“Did you…?” I hesitated for a moment, because I knew there was no turning back after I asked this question. “Did you mean it?”
Tori looked like she was in physical pain when she squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head. “Please don’t make me answer that.”
When she started to cry, I couldn’t take it anymore. I closed the space between us and ran my hands over her cheeks. “Sh. You’re okay. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed it. You don’t need to say anything.”
“Rosemary.” Tori’s voice was choked and her eyes were burning into mine, and if she wasn’t holding me in place, that look alone would have knocked me over. “You need to move away from me, or I’m going to do something we’re both going to regret.”
Between the alcohol and the way Tori’s breath hit my lips as she spoke, I couldn’t think straight anymore. I only had one thing on my mind, and no matter how much I wanted to, I couldn’t shake it. “What if I want you to do it?”
“Y-you do?”
I have no idea who moved in first, but within seconds, our lips met in a searing kiss. I felt the kiss throughout my whole body, but I was desperate to feel even more. I grabbed onto Tori’s shirt and brought her body tight up against mine as my tongue slipped into her mouth. We both moaned as our tongues touched for the first time, and my body reacted in a way it hadn’t in a very long time. I had forgotten how good it felt to be on the edge of something big and feel like you were about to burst. It made me wonder how I had gone so long without this.
That’s when the crushing reality hit me. I had gone so long without this because I lost the love of my life three years ago. My soulmate. My one true love. The person whose life I was supposed to be celebrating tonight. Oh my god. What did I just do?
I pulled my lips from Tori’s and pushed her away from me. She stumbled back slightly, but I think that was more from shock than anything else.
“Shit.” Tori’s eyes were wide as they looked around the room, and she ran her hand over her mouth as if she was trying to erase all traces of what had just happened. “Fuck.”
I brought my fingers to my still-quivering lips. “Oh my god. I’m so sorry.”
Tori’s chest moved up and down as she breathed rapidly, her eyes still wide when she looked at me. “It-it’s not your fault. We both definitely just did that. Together.”
“Together,” I repeated, the knot in my stomach growing from the sound of that word. How could one word feel so incredibly wrong, yet so right all at once? Shit. I’m going to be sick. “Holy shit.”
