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“Fine,” I say, my shoulders sinking. “Anything else?”
She looks relieved. “No. That’s all.”
I withdraw my attention back to my computer screen. My hand reaches for the mouse and clenches it in a death-grip. I start clicking hard on random things, everything even worse gibberish now. My ears continue to pound as Celeste walks out of my office. As soon as she closes the door behind her, I let go of the mouse and sink back against my office chair, devastation searing through me.
2
HENRY
ONE YEAR LATER
It’s strange, how quickly your life can change.
A year ago, my life was…well. I don’t know if I’d say it was great. But it was on an even keel. Work was steady. Celeste was here. It felt like the days could have continued like that indefinitely.
Then Celeste left. Try as I might, I couldn’t figure out a sensible way to keep her around. Three weeks after she handed in her letter of resignation, she was gone.
My fucking heart, man. Shattered.
Somehow, despite the black cloud hanging over everything, I got through the days. Every morning when I stepped off the elevator and was greeted with a cheerful hello from my new secretary, Natalie, it felt like a stab to my soul. But I endured it, mumbled a hello in response, and got on with my day.
Time passed. The black cloud lingered, but I learned how to live with it. Or how to ignore it, at least. It still hurt every time I walked out of the elevator, but after a while, you can get used to anything.
A few months after that, I was having dinner with my little sister, Janie, and she told me she was going to have a kid. It wasn’t planned, and the father wasn’t interested in being involved, but Janie had decided she was going to go through with it anyway. Being the protective older brother that I am, I didn’t love the idea of her having to raise a kid on her own. But I could tell she was excited about it, and I congratulated her.
In the spring, my niece was born. Aria Grace. The first time I held her, I felt simultaneously full of love for her and terrified at how small and fragile she felt in my arms. I handed her back so fast that Janie burst out laughing at my reaction.
“You aren’t going to break her,” Janie teased me, trying to give her to me again.
“Nah, I’m good,” I said. “You hold onto her. You’re bonding.”
During those first few weeks of Aria’s life, I tried to be a good uncle. I brought over meals to Janie’s house. I hired a cleaning service to stop by her place twice a week so my sister didn’t have to worry about stuff like that. But every time I tried to hold Aria, it felt unnatural.
And Aria, possibly sensing my awkward discomfort, burst into tears every time.
Four weeks after Aria was born, Janie was driving her to a routine pediatric checkup when a truck ran a red light and sideswiped their car. Miraculously, Aria was completely unharmed. But Janie hit her head hard enough to put her into a coma. With my sister in a comatose state, the baby came under my care.
It’s strange, how quickly your life can change.
Aria won’t stop crying. She’s crying so loudly that the whole damn office can hear her wail.
“Aria, comeon,” I groan, rubbing my fingers into my eye. My whole head is splitting with a headache. “I get it. You’re unhappy. So am I.”
I look down beside my desk at the car seat she’s strapped into. I’ve already tried taking her out of the car seat and holding her, but that didn’t help. I’ve tried feeding her, too, but she didn’t want any. And I just checked to make sure her diaper’s dry. There’s no other reason I can come up with that should be making her cry as much as she is.
Well. Aside from the obvious reason. But there’s not much I can do about that.
The doctors can’t say when—or if—Janie is going to come out of her coma. As much as I can, I go to the hospital to see her. I also go there to give her some time with her daughter, hoping that maybe Aria’s presence will help. But so far there haven’t been any improvements. Janie is still in that damn coma. And until she comes out of it, I’m going to remain the guardian of my newborn niece.
I’m doing a shit job at it. I know that. Anyone who sees me with Aria knows it. I hate that I can’t care for her better, but I’m just not built for this kind of thing.
Aria deserves better than this.
There’s a knock on my office door, and for the briefest moment, my heart foolishly contracts. Even a full year later, my body still hasn’t gotten used to the fact that it’s not Celeste knocking on my office door anymore.
“What?” I call out above my niece’s wailing.
Natalie pokes her head in. “Mr. Stone? I have good news.”
