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I tore off the paper towels, wrapping it around my hand and crying some more when I saw how it was already soaked.
I almost fell off the chair, trying to get down. I needed to tell Mom that I cut myself. She was going to be so mad.
I walked to her closed door, the faint sound of the TV flickering through the wood. “Mom,” I called softly.
She didn’t answer.
I knocked with my other hand. “Mom!”
Still nothing.
Staring at the door, I debated what I was going to do. She didn’t like me to walk in without permission. But I really needed help. This was an emergency, right?
I slowly opened the door and peeked through the crack. The window was open and the breeze was blowing the curtains. I couldn’t hear anything but the TV.
“Mom?” I called again, wishing she would just answer.
I tentatively walked down the hall, taking a deep breath when I saw that she was still asleep in the bed. Her covers were pushed down so she was uncovered. Which was probably good because it felt like it was a hundred degrees in here, even with the window open.
“Mom,” I whispered, coming up beside her. There was an orange medicine bottle lying on its side on the table next to the bed. It was the kind of bottle I wasn’t supposed to ever, ever touch, Daddy had told me.
“Mom!” I said louder when she still didn’t move. Why wasn’t she answering? She would usually have gotten mad at me already. I glanced at the TV. One of her soap stories was on—or whatever they were called. People always seemed really unhappy on those shows. Daddy called them trash. But Mom loved them.
My hand throbbed and some blood dripped on the floor, and I was starting to feel dizzy. That feeling like when you got off a ride at an amusement park and your head felt crazy and your stomach felt like you were going to throw up.
“Mom,” I said, shaking her arm this time. Her head lolled to the side, and I realized for the first time that she looked weird. Her face was the color of my white sidewalk chalk, and there was some sweat beaded on her lip. I started to cry harder, and I began to shake her arm more, trying to get her to wake up.
“Kennedy?” my dad’s voice called.
“Daddy!” I cried as I heard him enter the room and then a second later he was there. He almost tripped when he saw me and Mom.
“Kennedy, what happened, sweetheart?” he said, rushing to my side and carefully grabbing my hand. The paper towel was completely red, and I whimpered as he removed it and stared at the cut.
“I was trying to make a sandwich. It was an accident. I’m sorry,” I whimpered. He seemed so mad. But it really was just an accident. I’d been hungry.
I was still hungry.
“Fucking hell,” he snarled, his gaze going to Mom, who was laying there, so still it was scary...even with all the noise.
“Don't move, sweetie,” Daddy said in a gentler voice as he went into their bathroom, coming back a second later with one of their towels. He wrapped it around my hand. “Keep thattight,” he ordered before he leaned over Mom, slapping her face a few times. “Wake up! You stupid bitch, wake up!”
I sobbed because I didn’t like when he was mean like that, and he cursed before glancing back at me with a sad look on his face.
“I’m sorry, baby. But she should have been taking better care of you. She isn’t supposed to leave you by yourself!”
“Kennedy?” Sebastian’s voice filtered through my consciousness and I was once again standing in the present. The linoleum counters under my fingertips were cracked where they’d once been in pristine condition.
“I think I’ve been sad...forever,” I said quietly, turning and burying my face in Sebastian’s chest because everything felt so heavy.
I’d been nervous on the drive here...that I would find memories I didn’t want. But a part of me had been hopeful that there would be some good things in my past too.
I guess I’d been right to be nervous.
I could feel the watchful gazes of the others on my skin, but I kept myself against Sebastian’s chest, not wanting to see their looks of pity.
Taking a deep breath, I finally pulled away, my eyes immediately seeking Greyson’s.
“I suppose you know all sorts of things about what happened in this house,” I said quietly.
