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His face looked stricken. “I’m sorry, Kennedy. I had no idea. I never wanted you to feel that way...”
“I needed you,” I whispered, and then he seemed to break and he pulled me into his arms.
“And we needed you the whole time too,” he whispered, his voice low and husky, as if he were emotional too.
For a few long seconds, we clung to each other. I was still pissed, and yet there was comfort in his arms even when he was the reason I was angry.
“I’m glad it was Sebastian,” he said, “because I can’t move fast enough right now to have protected you.”
A shudder ran through his body as he held me, and it startled me. I tipped my face up to see his. He looked wrecked with guilt. “I’m not good enough for you...but I’ll become good enough. I’ll be able to protect you.”
Hearing him say that filled me with sadness, and then I had a flash of memory. Carter, as a teenage boy, serious and quiet like he was now, but sensitive. Holding my hand and walking with me one night, down the pitted streets of the trailer park. But the moonlight had scattered silver across the stream that ran behind the double-wides, and everything had looked beautiful that night with Carter by my side. It hadn’t mattered where we were.
“I don’t need you to shelter me, Carter. I need you to help me. Those are two different things.”
He still didn’t look like he believed me, so I took the hard angles of his jaw in my hands. His five o’clock shadow was rough against my palms. “You're already good enough, Carter.”
He didn’t look as if he believed me, so I added, “This is why you’ve needed me these last five years. Apparently, even beingan NHL star couldn’t be enough for you without me there to remind you how much I love you.”
The second the words were out of my mouth, a blush of embarrassment rose to my cheeks. I felt as if now that my memories were coming back, so were deep, intense feelings. They were the feelings of Kennedy in the past who’d had more time with these boys.
“Sorry,” I started, trying to explain, but it wasn’t as if I could take back what I just said.
“Don’t be sorry. I’m sorry.” He wrapped his hands around my thighs and boosted me up onto the counter. I let out a breath at the sudden movement, but then his lips were on mine, and the two of us were just kissing.
He certainly kissed me like he didn’t mind my confession of love.
When he pulled away, he tilted his forehead against mine. “I’ll do anything for you. You know that.”
“Even make up with Greyson?”
I could feel the tension through his body.
“After what he did? He’s the reason I can’t move...” He began. I pulled back, and when he saw my face, he stroked my cheekbone gently with one of his big, scarred thumbs. He seemed to contemplate for a second as he tried to ease the tension out of my face with his gentle touch. Then he said, “Yeah, even make up with Greyson.”
Well, we would see about that. I had some thoughts about how to test Greyson and Carter’s willingness to work together and forgive the past.
“I’m sorry we left you, Kennedy,” he said, and his voice sounded rough and broken. “You’re right. It’s felt like we barely survived without you, all this time. Everything we accomplished didn’t mean much when you weren’t there to see it.”
Then we were kissing again, and I didn’t want to ever stop.
“I hate to break up the party,” Greyson’s voice was sarcastic, and I had the feeling he very much enjoyed breaking up the party. “But some of us have shit to do. I can’t just laze around all day, waiting with you all to hear your names on ESPN while you eat pancakes.”
“It does kind of sound like the perfect day though,” Jack said coming in behind him, “You know, if there was any chance of having your name mentioned on ESPN.”
“Sure,” Greyson drawled. “If my girl hadn’t just been almost killed.”
“And if you hadn’t given up on hockey,” Jack said, an answering flare of heat in his eyes.
“If I was an NHL pretty boy who was only capable of violence on the ice,” Greyson agreed.
I couldn’t take it anymore. But before I could say anything, Carter turned to face them, looping his arm around my waist. “Can you all cut the bullshit out?”
Jack gave him an affronted look. It certainly wasn’t like Carter to come to Greyson’s defense—not anymore.
Carter turned to Greyson. “Look, we all want the same thing. To protect Kennedy. There’s no reason we can’t work together.”
Greyson gave him a long look. Then he slow clapped, twice. “You think you’re being magnanimous, don’t you?”
