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I haven’t even told Lottie yet.
As far as she knows, we’re only hooking up.
She doesn’t know that I lov…
“Just walk. No talking?” I order, shaking that thought away from my head as fast as it came in.
Mom gives me an excited nod and even pretends to zip her lips shut.
But after we walk down by the beach for about five minutes in total silence, my mother breaks her promise by summoning old ghosts that only bring more suffering.
“Your father loved the beach,” she signs. “There was something about the water that just called to him. I think that’s why he became a marine in the first place. Just so he could be near the water. God, how he loved coming here to the Cape.”
“I remember.”
“I do, too. I remember everything. How he loved coming here with the Moores and playing with you and Lottie, building sandcastles, and teaching you both how to swim.”
I smile because they’re all good memories.
“We had some amazing days here. Many of my most treasured memories of your father were made on this beach,” she signs with such a broad smile that I’m a little taken aback by it.
“I would have thought reminiscing about those times would be too painful for you.”
She shakes her head.
“No. Those are the memories I cling to because they make me happy. Each day that I spent with your father was a true blessing. Not many people can boast of having the type of happiness we shared. I cherish each and every one of those memories. None of them bring me pain. Quite the opposite. I’m very fortunate to have them.”
“I don’t understand,” I reply, unable to comprehend the smile on her face.
“I thought as much,” she sighs. “And that saddens me immensely. I know that I’ve put you through quite an ordeal when your father passed. I will never be able to make amends for what I put you through, Piper. That’s on me. But you shouldn’t be weighed down by the past. Especially when your future is banging at your door, screaming to be let in.”
“Mom,” I try to interrupt, unwilling to go there.
“Do you love him?” she interjects.
“What?” I choke out.
“Do you love him?” she signs again.
“I can’t answer that.”
“Can’t or won’t, sweetheart?”
“Mom,” I sign. “I really don’t want to talk to you about my love life.”
“What love life?” she retorts, throwing her arms in the air. “A love life would imply that you let love through the door, but you keep shutting it out. That’s no way to live, much less refer to it as a love life.”
“Now you sound like Lottie,” I grumble.
“I sure hope so since Lottie believes in a miracle I’ve experienced firsthand. Finding your soulmate is not a burden, Piper. It’s a blessing. It should be celebrated, not hidden away and ignored. Trent loves you. I knew it the minute I first laid eyes on him. The man is devoted to you in all ways that matter. And you, my sweet, sweet girl, are in love with him. Even if you don’t want to admit it. Even if it scares you half to death.”
I stop in my tracks and face her head-on.
“And what if I am? What good will that do me? You, of all people, know what love does. It changes the very fabric of who we are.”
“Yes, it does, and we’re better for it.”
I shake my head, not wanting to read another word.
