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He never came, allowing my mind to play out the scenarios. He was the one who was making a woman scream down the hallway multiple times that night, the one causing the bed to squeak above me, or making the man moan in the room next to mine.
Covering my ears, I tried to push thoughts of Ash away andpurposefullythink of my ex. That used to be effortless. His eyes, his laugh, his ghost of a smile, the way his large arms would wrap around me, making me feel so safe. Gods, I had been so in love with him, so sure we were meant to be. I truly believed he would get over his crush on her and see what was before him the whole time. I ignored the way he watched her, the same longing in his eyes I held for him.
Maybe I could’ve continued to ignore it because she waved him off, denying she felt anything for him, pretending he was a child to her, but the moment she stopped lying to herself, I had no hope. He was completely hers.
It wasn’t just an axe to my heart, but to my ego. I wasn’t told no often. And I was never without a stream of admirers. I had men of all ages from all over the world telling me how stunning I was, how incredible I was, and how they’d give anything to be with me. I hadn’t cared about any of them. I only wanted him. Only thought about him. Built my fantasy future around him.
When he ran to her, my world, real and fantasy, crumbled. What I did in retaliation, trying to cope with the pain, would leave a scar on my soul and blood staining my hands.
“There you are.” Ash stomped out of the front door, pulling on his jacket, his attitude still full of vinegar.
He appeared exhausted, with bags puffing his red eyes, but the asshole still had the audacity to look hot as hell. How fair was that?
“I was looking for you,” he grumbled, pulling back his hair into a knot.
“I was right here.” I folded my arms, gazing down the cobble path.
“Guess my mind-reading skills are lacking today,” he quipped, his brow pulled down, staring off. Neither of us was fully looking at the other, pretending last night didn’t happen, which was harder than it should’ve been. Images of his sculpted ass, powerful thighs, and muscles rippling down his back haunted me. The way his cock swung between his legs like an elephant trunk, stiffening as he walked to me.
As if Ash sensed the turn of my thoughts, his eyes snapped to me. Inhaling, his gaze traveled the bloom in my cheeks, stopping on my lips.
Heat flourished under my skin, my core squeezing with need. I had no doubt last night, in that moment, in that room, I would have let the fae get me off and then let Ash fuck me while the man watched. The thought overwhelmed me, the barest truth, and I was stunned by how turned on I was at the idea.
Ash snapped his head away from me as I looked the opposite way, both of us moving on our feet, glancing everywhere but at each other.
“We need to get supplies.” He took off down the lane, not needing a response from me.
Hitching the bag onto my shoulder, I followed behind, purposely keeping a distance between us.
Striding down the passage out to the main square, I saw vendors setting up for the day, holiday decorations draped above the unloaded wagons, and people milling around the minimal Christmas tree. I had no idea what day it was, but I knew Christmas was close.
My chest squeezed with thoughts of my family at this time of year. The love, laughter, warmth, and craziness the holidays brought. But even before Ash, I had not planned to return home this year. The memories were too raw, my heart weak, and my darkness was too volatile. I was not ready to face it or face them being together. Face what I had done.
By now, I had no doubt my parents realized something was wrong, were worried, and were looking for me, but it was better for no one to know where I was. I needed to keep everyone safe.
The sweet smells ofgogo?i, kürtöskalács,and other various pastries being sold by vendors wafted into my nose, my stomach rumbling. I knew Ash couldn’t have heard my stomach protest, but he veered toward the stands as if he had, sensing my hunger before I could even speak up.
“Two coffees, donuts, and a chimney cake,” he ordered in Romanian, pulling a few coins out of his pocket.
The man behind nodded, getting our order.
“Here.” Ash handed me a black coffee. In the West, you could get it with every type of milk, flavoring, or sugar, but in the East, those extras were luxury items. Something so simple as sugar, all my friends would take for granted.
I blew on the hot beverage, ignoring the watery brew scalding my tongue as I sipped it down.
“Thanks.” Ash nodded at the vendor, taking the parchment-wrapped fried goods, the steam curling into the frosty morning. I followed Ash like a puppy on a leash, the scent of the pastries making me prance behind him, begging for a taste.
Sitting on a step, he waited until I was settled, then handed me a couple of Romanian donuts.
“Oh, fuck,” I moaned around the hot, crispy dough, fanning my hand at my tongue, swallowing it before I chewed. I popped in another small bite right after as I tore off a piece of the chimney cake, already stuffing it in my mouth.
A snort came from Ash, drawing my eyes up to his. He sat on the step above mine, his coffee between his feet, a donut pinched in his fingers, his head wagging. A smile hinted at his mouth as he watched me.
“What?” I muttered, gulping down a bite.
“Did you chew, or did you justswallowit all down?” A brow lifted.
Pink flooded back into my cheeks, not for the embarrassment of eating like a scavenger, but for the dirty places my mind went at his query. I didn’t trust my response, my tongue and mind at war.
