AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“What?”
The backdoor swings open, grabbing our attention, and Sean comes rushing in.
“Mommy!” he squeals, running over to me, his bright smile making me feel calmer.
“There’s my sweet baby boy.” I drop to my knees, embracing him in a hug.
Maddison comes in behind Lori but stays back by the door. She stares at me wide-eyed, fidgeting with the end of her braided hair. The look of uncertainty in her eyes as she regards me makes my heart ache. It’s as if she’s never sure how to act around me anymore. Probably because my behavior has been unpredictable for so long now. I’m going to fix that, though. I swear it.
“Come here, baby girl.” I tuck Sean under one arm and wave her over with the other.
“Mom, I’m not a baby anymore,” she protests, a smile spreading across her face as she willingly walks into my embrace.
“Hey, Maddie, I was thinking maybe we could go to the zoo next weekend. We could make a day of it. Take a picnic with us and everything. What do you say?”
“Really?” She pulls back until her eyes meet mine, and I nod, a smile on my face. “Like we used to do with Daddy?”
“Yes, baby.” I keep my tone even, my smile and eyes bright.
It’s time for me to be brave. Even though I’m frightened and unsure of our future, I need her to see that I’m going to try. She needs to know I want things to be better too.
“Sean would love that.” She claps her hands together, bouncing on her feet.
“Me too, baby.” I pull them both into another tight hug and look up at Cat.
She’s watching us, her eyebrows knit together, a mixture of confusion and wonderment in her eyes. Things have been hard on her since Xander’s accident as well. Trying to help someone who’s constantly pushing you away isn’t easy. She was forced to watch as I faded away more with each day.
Xander died, and I shut down. Effectively cutting the people who cared for me most out of my life. I was afraid letting their love in my heart would replace some of the agony I was feeling. I didn’t want to let go of my pain. I wanted to own every single ounce of it. But I’ve worn my pain like a badge of honor for far too long.
It’s time for me to let the love in, and the pain out.
