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3
Elizabeth
“Who wants ice cream?” Xander asks in a singsong voice, a boyish smile spreading across his face.
“I do, I do!” Maddison and I shout in unison.
He laughs and reaches over to take my hand, lacing his fingers through mine before bringing it to his lips. A warmth runs through me from the light kiss he places on my knuckles.
I trace circles on his hand with my thumb and whisper, “Your love is better than ice cream.”
“Sarah McLaughlin.” He winks, looking rather pleased with himself.
The shrill sound of Sean’s scream startles me, bringing the cold, hard reality back down around me.
“For the love of god, Maddison, please give him whatever it is so he’ll stop screaming. As long as he can’t harm himself or others, I don’t care!” I shout, keeping my place on the living room couch.
The dim light from the window tells me the day has nearly slipped away. Most people would want to celebrate a day like today, but I’ve chosen to ignore it altogether. I turned off my phone first thing this morning and wasted the day away lounging around in my pajamas.
Saturdays used to be my favorite day of the week. They were for relaxing and enjoying time with my family. Xander made every Saturday fun—taking us to the zoo on beautiful sunny days or to see a movie on rainy ones. I know he would’ve done everything he could to make this particular Saturday amazing.
After Xander’s accident, our fun Saturdays stopped altogether. Last year, I tried to make our Saturdays special again. It was a complete failure. I hated letting my kids down, but it proved to be too much.
I gasp at the quick, sharp knock on my front door and jolt off the couch. Unexpected visitors at my door tend to make me a little anxious, but this one isn’t all that unexpected. I knew she’d show up at some point today, but part of me still hoped she’d let this one slide.
Beating me to the door, Maddison calls out, “It’s Lori and Aunt Cat!” She looks at me with excitement, awaiting permission to open the door for them.
Despite the slight reluctance I feel, I nod my head and gesture for her to go ahead.
My sister, Catelyn, and her best friend, Lori, haven’t stopped their mission to help me cope with Xander’s death. They mean well, and I love them for it, but I’m not in the mood for their pep talks today.
I stand back in the hallway while Cat and Lori make their way into the small foyer, acknowledging and fussing over the kids. Cat gives them hugs and kisses their cheeks before handing them each a giant cookie and sending them into the kitchen.
“Are you seriously still in your pajamas?” Cat asks when she finally reaches me, her forehead creasing as her mouth twists in disapproval.
“It’s nice to see you too, Cat,” I deadpan, turning away from her and walking back into the living room. “To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit today?”
“You know damn well why we’re here. You can turn off your phone and try to hide from everyone all day if you want, but I’m not going to miss celebrating my baby sister’s thirtieth birthday.”
She laughs as I groan and pinch the bridge of my nose. The last thing I feel like doing is celebrating. Besides, I’m not ready to turn thirty.
“We’re taking you out to dinner for your birthday, like it or not,” Lori chimes in, patting my shoulder as she chuckles along with Cat. “Now, go take a shower and get dressed.”
My tiny living room feels even smaller with Cat and Lori’s dominating personalities filling the space, the beige walls suddenly closing in on me.
“No thanks,” I respond, attempting to flop back onto the couch.
“We’re not asking,” Cat reiterates, pulling on my arm to keep me from sitting. “You need to get out of this house, and you need a break from being Mommy. Now, go get showered and changed. We’ll play with the kids until the sitter arrives.”
“Sitter? I don’t—”
“Yes, my friend Bethany is coming to sit with the kiddos. Cat and I both know her well. You don’t have anything to worry about,” Lori answers.
“But I can’t—” I try to protest again but snap my mouth shut when I catch the scowl on Cat’s face.
“It’s your birthday for Christ’s sake. We’re going out to celebrate.” Cat’s voice is thick with emotion, her eyes glossing over. “Now, go.”
I frown as she points me to the bedroom like I’m a child, not bothering to argue before making my way.
