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“Yeah, all good here,” I lie. “Are you okay?”
“I’m better than okay. Cat came by.”
“She did? What did she say?”
“She apologized, said you helped her see the error of her ways.”
I chuckle, feeling some tension leave my body. “I might’ve had a little heart to heart with her.”
“Well, thank you. In return, she helped me figure out some things too. We should talk. Are you home now?”
“Umm…no.”
“Okay…well, where are you?” As I’m considering what to tell her, there’s a call over the loudspeaker for a doctor. “Are you at the hospital? Why are you at the hospital? I thought you said everything was okay.”
“It is. That’s why I wasn’t even going to tell you about it.”
“Spill it.”
“Gram had a little fall today…” My words trail off at the onslaught of emotion they bring.
“What? I can’t believe you weren’t going to tell me that. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
“You don’t have—”
“Shut up,” she says, cutting me off. “I’ll be there in twenty.”
The line goes dead, and I laugh.
* * *
Twenty minutes later, Lori is at my side, holding my hand and sitting in silence with me. She doesn’t ask me any questions or try to make small talk. She is simply here with me—for me. I’m not used to relying or leaning on other people. It’s been Gram and me for so long, facing a future without her in it scares me. Then Lori showed up, and I started to feel like I could handle whatever life throws at me. With her at my side, anything seems possible.
The nurse steps in to check on my grandmother and we both stand to get out of her way. I give Lori a quick kiss on the cheek. “I think I’m going to step out to use the restroom, maybe grab something from the vending machine and get some coffee. Do you want to come with me?”
She shakes her head, looking over at Gram then back to me. “No, I think I’ll stay here with her.”
My heart warms knowing she doesn’t want to leave my grandmother alone, and I smile as I nod. “Okay, do you want anything?”
She puckers her lips, tapping her pointer finger on them as she thinks on her answer. “A bag of Skittles and some water?”
“You got it. Be right back.”
It feels good to stretch my legs and get out of the room for a minute, but I’m just as eager to return. Once I have our drinks and snacks in hand, I head back to Gram’s room. As I approach the door, I hear Lori’s soft laughter then my grandmother’s voice. My first instinct is to rush into the room, excited to see my Gram awake and alert again. But something she says keeps me perched outside the door listening to their conversation.
“I’ve happily been Spencer’s entire family for a long time now, but it’s no secret I won’t be around forever. I think today is proof of that. He’s going to need you, dear.”
There’s only silence after, so I take the moment to enter the room. Lori meets my gaze, her face pale and eyes unblinking. It’s as if I can see her succumbing to her fears—mentally retreating and distancing herself.
Another hour later, I’m walking Lori out, and I can feel the tension coming off her. We have a lot to talk about, but I’m not entirely sure I can endure any more emotional stress tonight. Something tells me the conversation isn’t going to go as I had hoped.
When we get to her car, I open the door for her. She sighs and turns to face me, her eyes cast to the ground, and my stomach knots. “Spencer, I—”
“Don’t,” I plead, cutting her off. When she lifts her gaze, I shake my head then cup her face in my hands. “Whatever it is that has put you in flight mode, just don’t. Not right now, I can’t deal. Please.”
She lifts her hands, placing them over mine as she closes her eyes, and for a second, I think she’s going to let it go. But when she opens them again, I’m met with the same terrified gaze. “I’m not.” She guides my hands away from her face, releasing them as she takes a step backward. “It isn’t like that. I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere. But…” Her voice cracks, and she takes a breath before continuing. “Maybe we should stop at friendship.”
“No.” I shake my head, running a hand through my hair. “Nope. We aren’t doing this.” I close the gap between us again, taking her hands in mine. “I won’t go backwards. I’ve fought too hard to get here.”
