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But what about me? Do I get a new start?
That girl who kissed Davis last week was the real Koty McGraw. All confidence and charisma. Someone not afraid of setting foot in a kitchen or taking a risk. Or kissing a cowboy.
Beyond the windows, the darkening sky is heavy with the threat of more snow. The hum of an engine reverberates in my bones as Davis’s truck rattles over the gravel driveway. I stare at him for a long second, his black Stetson a shadow against the sun, then tear myself away from the window.
I drift from the island to the counter, frowning when I notice a large box. On the front, is a sticky note with my name. I smile at Davis’s chicken scratch scribble. Then I open the box.
My smile disappears.
Inside:
Baby supplies. Prenatal vitamins. Nausea pills. Bottles. One of those happy baby books.
My eyes blur with tears as I stare at the baby book. I still haven’t felt my baby move. Something’s wrong with me. My baby knows it. Knows its mother is a basket case.
It’s hiding just like I am.
Is this why Davis has been in the Bullshit Box for the last week? Ordering supplies for me? Leaving me granola bars around the house because I have low blood sugar? Taking care of me because I can’t take care of myself? The thought is as touching as it is horrifying.
I’ve only been on my own for a week and I feel like I’m failing.
Although, I rallied long enough this morning to take a Zoom meeting with the insurance adjuster. It was hard, but I owned up to running. I told them I left the scene immediately and fled the state because I feared for my life due to my ex. They seemed to believe me, so now I wait for them to conclude their investigation and determine it’s not fraud.
At least one thing in my life isn’t a complete cluster.
Dutifully, numbly, I reach for the jar of prenatal vitamins. It feels like I’m going through the motions as I swallow one down. It sinks like a lead weight in my gut.
And then, the image creeps.
My entire body freezes.
Fire. Searing heat. Aiden screaming “help me” over and over again.
I ran. I let my bakery burn.
Coward. You fucking piece of pathetic shit.
I shake my head. Squeeze my eyes shut.
No. That’s Aiden talking. Breaking me down. Not me.
The back door opens, and I sigh.
Like clockwork, Ruby peeks inside the kitchen, a sherpa hat with furry ear flaps on her head. Her blue eyes light up when she sees me.
“Hi, Dakota!” Ruby chirps. Her genuine, happy face never ceases to amaze me. She’s like the brightest lemon meringue I’ve ever made.
I force a smile. “Hi, Ruby.”
“You want to walk to the pasture today?” she asks, like she’s done every morning for the last week. A fact that makes me think Davis has put her up to this.
I very much do not want to walk to the pasture. I want to hibernate in bed for the rest of my life. But the baby in my belly won’t let me. Neither will Ruby Montgomery.
Yesterday, we basked in the sun on the front porch. The day before, we met the horses.
I check the time and it’s only eight. I’m due at the Corner Store at eleven to help Fallon with the afternoon shift.
Back to the land of the living.
