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She continued to ruminate as the sun rose, casting a dim glow over the hills beyond. She thought about the picnic by the waterfall and the way they made love next to it, like in a fairy tale. It was all so magical at the time, and it wasn’t that the feeling of it being that way was wearing off. Still, it made her nauseous, knowing the impending tidal wave.
Then, there was another complication. If she were to decide to accept her position as female alpha, she would have to reveal to the pack that she had arrived under false pretenses. Mason was big on transparency, which meant she had to be as well. She had a hard time imagining a way she could skirt aroundthat truth or try to persuade the pack to trust her after deceiving them.
She churned with indecision.
“The coffee is delicious.”
Lost in her trance, Ash hadn’t heard the sliding door open. She jumped at the sound of Mason’s deep voice, and she turned to him with her hand on her chest.
“Shit, I didn’t hear you coming,” she said, starting to laugh.
“Sorry. I simply couldn’t contain my approval of the way you make this coffee. It’s unlike anything I’ve tasted before.”
“Yes, because putting coffee grounds into a machine is so difficult,” she joked.
Mason chuckled, wearing a robe himself, and sat next to her on the steps. He brought his lips to hers, tasting of that sweet hazelnut flavor.
“Good morning,” he whispered, their foreheads pressing together.
“Good morning,” she whispered back.
“Where were you just now? You looked pretty steeped in contemplation.”
Ash turned away, unable to let herself get lost in those penetrating blues. She hadn’t had sufficient time to consider what she was going to do. It was all a tangled ball of yarn in her head, difficult to separate one strand of thought from the other. She didn’t want to tell him what she had been thinking, yet the mating bond made her feel positively compelled.
She turned back to look at him. He was holding the mug to his lips, looking over it with curiosity. There wasn’t a tyrannical bone in that man’s body. She trusted him inherently. She had to take the plunge.
Ash took a deep breath and began blabbering, her anxiety pouring out of her mouth in one big car wreck.
“I don’t know what to do. On the one hand, I worry that if I stay as your partner, I will have to tell the pack about what I was actually here for. How can they trust me after that? And what about the Interspecies Council? Will I be lost without them? It's all happening so fucking fast, Mason. I’m terrified.”
The silence was thick between them. Ash was worried that she had said too much when a smile spread across Mason’s face.
Relief washed over her like a warm bath.
“That was adorable,” he said, scooting in closer. “Please, tell me more.”
“I’m not joking,” she said, giving him a light shove on the shoulder. “I’m terrified about all of this. It's all so new. I don’t know how I am going to handle it. I really don’t.”
Ash was on the verge of tears, her throat dry and gravelly. Mason’s face hardened, placing his coffee on the step and doing the same with hers. She clapped both hands over her face and tried to stifle her threatening sob.
“I feel like an idiot,” she muttered.
“Ash, you are the furthest thing from that. Everything you say is completely valid. Who could have known that all of this was going to happen? I certainly didn’t.”
A teardrop spilled out, and Mason wrapped his arms around her. He was like a human furnace, so cozy and warm.
“I don’t know if I can do it,” she began to sob. “I want to be the best alpha female for you, but I …”
She trailed off. Mason pulled her even closer, and she cried into his neck. All of the stress was finally releasing itself … the deception, the torn loyalties, the overwhelming affection.
“Ash, I don’t know who you are referring to here,” he said, rubbing his hands on her back. “You are the strongest woman I have ever known. You are more than capable of leading. You have already started. It would be an honor to lead by your side.”
His words soothed her fears. Her sobbing calmed as he continued to whisper reassurance into her ear.
“You are a badass woman, you know that? No, just a badass shifter. I am blessed to be your mate. I don’t feel like I deserve it. I know we are strong enough to get shit done and to conquer any more bullshit as it’s thrown our way.”
She sat up, and Mason kissed away her tears. She felt drained but invigorated at the same time. His eyes shined brighter than she had seen before now.
