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What was I thinking?
But I couldn’t deny that something in my soul called to my actions. “I would still do it again if I was given another chance,” I admitted without a filter.
“Why? Why risk yourself for imminent death? There is no hope for me, Khepria. Death is my judgment, and death will always find me.”
“Because, Isolarel,” I whispered, slipping my hand from his grasp and cupping the side of his face. He let out a stuttered breath and his body deflated. I didn’t realize we were both gravitating toward one another until we began to mold against each other. “You make me believe in hope, in things that I’ve long since buried within myself. I-I never felt this way about anyone before. Is it wrong of me?”
He clicked his mandibles and leaned in, gently grazing my hair as if tasting it.
“No. But it is wrong of me to desire something I do not deserve,” he whispered.
I choked and wrapped my arms around his neck tightly, letting my tears fall against his broken shell. “Don’t say that. Every being deserves love, Isolarel.”
“You deserve more than what I can offer you,” he replied sadly and my heart cracked. “You should have left me the first time you?—”
I grabbed his face and planted my lips on him, no matter how awkward it felt. I just needed him to stop with his self deprecating thoughts. I needed him to forget the pain he had to go through. I silently prayed that the growing emotions I felt—the love I had inside of me—was enough for us both to hope again.
He was hesitant, but slowly wrapped one set of his arms around me, pulling me close as his other set explored my skin.
Was this why I could never connect to the men around me? Was Mr. Redding right in telling me that I was chosen for this? Who else would be stubborn enough to do what I did?
I sighed as his mandibles gently glided and nibbled along the crook of my neck and down to the top of my shoulder. A hot desert breeze came through the cavern at that very moment, making my skin perspire. Or perhaps it was from the inferno building between us.
Regardless of the origins, we both found ourselves locked in an embrace full of exploration. All caution was thrown to the wind as the world around us melted away with each touch, each intimate gesture.
I panted as his limbs struggled to get my clothes off, giggling against his shell as I unfastened myself and kicked the fabric down. Wrapping my legs around him, he rolled onto his back and held me firmly, forcing my hips to rub against the erogenous zones only he could reveal. I used to be embarrassed about my virginity but as more time passed away from the strictness of my upbringing, I became more comfortable with myself, taking care of my own desires through the sensuality of words on a page.
But it was nothing in comparison to the reality of what was happening right now—with a demi god between my legs. I rocked, silently encouraging him to continue showing me how I can better pleasure him when a slit formed somewhere on his lower abdomen. The protrusion that revealed itself was hard and slick, rubbing against my inner thigh as I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around his thorax.
He cooed against me, whispering encouraging words, telling me to not be afraid. Did he not understand that my trembling wasn’t from fear but from desperation for him to finally put me out of my misery? With all his rubbing and caressing, the entire surface of my skin was so sensitive, I felt like I was going to combust at any moment.
“It’s okay…” he whispered.
“Dammit, Isolarel. I’m not afraid. I’m desperate for you to fill me, you fool!”
He chuckled and flipped us. Staring at him with wide eyes from the bottom position, I threw my head back as he teased my lower lips with his textured phallus.
Knowledge about human reproduction flitted through my mind, my curiosity asking me if it was possible for a beetle man to breed with a human. But as quickly as the thought came, it was chased away by Isolarel’s mandibles nibbling at my exposed nipples in the night air.
My sensitivity was heightened as he ran his serrated limbs along my hips and outer thighs. Overstimulated by every surface he was touching simultaneously, I threw my head back again and cried out in surprise when he entered me, groaning as his shell audibly cracked.
“Did you ever think you would be ravaged by a god?” he whispered gruffly and my body shivered while he was inside of me.
He thrusted and I felt myself stretch and choked as I held onto him for dear life. When he pulled back, I cried out in both relief and frustration, my body craving more.
“Your screams for me only make me wish to claim you as my own even more,” he groaned, pushing himself further inside of me.
When another crack echoed in the cavern, my eyes snapped open.
Both lost in fear and ecstasy, I wanted to worry about his battered body but Isolarel had other plans, stealing my focus with every thrust and every caress by his extra limbs. I bit my bottom lip and gripped his arms harder, unsure of what to do.
“Don't bite your lip, worship me like the god I am. And allow me to oblige you with the fullness that is me.”
Oh, sweet heaven. The books never spoke likethis.
My back scraped against the rough ground as his thrust came harder, his lower limbs pushing the back of my knees up so that I could take more of him. How was this strength possible after all he had gone through?
My mind told me to shut up and take it, the same time Isolarel whispered against my ear when he finally filled me to the hilt. I whimpered at how full I felt. It was both delicious and on the brink of pain.
