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I shake my head.
“Seriously, though, you’re still recuperating. You won’t get your memories back if you push too hard.”
“You want me to get my memories back?” If he was guilty, wouldn’t that be the last thing he wanted?
He frowns. “Of course, I want you to get your memories back. Do you have any idea what it’s like to have the woman you love stare at you like you were nothing more than a stranger on the street, or worse?”
By worse, I assume he means looking at him like he’s a killer.
I sigh and drop my head. “Everything is just so confusing. For the most part, I want them back so that everything can return to normal. I’m tired of being scared all the time and not knowing exactly what or who I should be scared of. But the other part of me is afraid. What if everything that happened comes rushing back and my life is torn apart again?”
“You’ll deal with it when it comes, Rue. That’s all you can do. You’ve come this far. I know you’ll make it through whatever else is thrown at you, too.”
“I wish I had your faith.”
“I know you better than you know yourself right now, remember? So trust me.”
I nod.
“Good girl. Now, why don’t you take your book and crawl into bed, and I’ll make you something to drink.”
“Wine?” I ask. I had looked for a bottle earlier but didn’t find one.
“I was thinking hot chocolate. You don’t usually drink alcohol, Rue. Yesterday was an exception.”
“I don’t? Do I have a problem with alcohol?”
“No. It’s nothing like that. You don’t like feeling out of control.”
“Guess that explains why I couldn’t find any. Hot chocolate sounds good, though.”
“Good. You go on upstairs, and I’ll bring it up to you.”
I stand there for a second before agreeing. I grab my book from the living room and head upstairs. Placing it on the bed, I strip out of my clothes and pull on the T-shirt I stole from Valen to sleep in.
There are some pretty cotton nighties I could wear in pastel colors, but with how much I toss and turn, I think a T-shirt will be more comfortable. Which reminds me. I need to go shopping at some point because there is hardly anything here.
I climb into bed and open my book, but I can’t focus as I picture Valen in my kitchen making me hot chocolate. It’s sweet that he wants to take care of me. But I can’t help but wonder if he got me tipsy, hoping it would loosen me up so that I’d end up in his bed. I should be pissed about it, but part of me knows that Valen is intoxicating with or without wine. I probably would have ended up on my back even if I’d had water.
Lost in thought, I don’t hear him come in. I jump when he approaches the bed.
“Sorry, I thought you heard me.” He places the mug on the table next to me.
I look at it, and my thank you dies on my lips. What if he’s drugged it? What if he’s lulling me into a false sense of security just so I let my guard down around him, and he snatches me?
I shake my head to clear it. That’s stupid, right? He wouldn’t do that. But even as I think it, I know someone out there is capable of it.
He watches me, but I don’t reach for it.
I school my reaction. “Thank you. Sorry, I’m not much of a host.”
His jaw tics. “I don’t need you to be a host, Rue. I just need you to let me take care of you.”
I bite my lip, torn between crying and lashing out. My emotions are all over the place, and this man is making them so much worse.
With a sigh, he slips off his jacket and kicks off his shoes before walking around to the other side of the bed. He climbs on next to me.
“What are you doing?”
