Page 60 of Sole Survivor


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I end up back in the living room, looking out of the huge windows at the ocean. I don’t know how long I stand there, staring aimlessly, before my stomach starts rumbling.

I shake myself out of my own little world and head into the kitchen. Opening the fridge, I find it stuffed with ready-made meals. I vaguely remember Valen telling me he has a chef who batch cooks for him twice a week.

I pull out the top meal and see it’s chicken Alfredo. My stomach grumbles again, with approval this time. I place it in the microwave and start heating it before setting a place at the counter. A place mat, silverware, and a can of Dr. Pepper are set on the counter before the microwave dings, and my food is ready. But the ding has my mind splintering. Pulling me from the here and now to somewhere else.

I grip the counter hard so that I don’t fall as my knees buckle. This one isn’t like my other visions. It’s just as emotionally charged, but these emotions have nothing to do with the rage and anger and the bitter thirst for revenge that I usually feel. Instead, passion and desire consume me. My pulse races,my pussy becoming slick as I relive the moment that’s hazily becoming clearer.

That’s when I realize this isn’t a vision but a memory.

There are two people tangled in the sheets of a bed that doesn’t look familiar, but I recognize Valen. He’s younger. Or maybe he’s not. His expression seems less severe somehow. He looks, dare I say it, happy.

He grunts, his hands moving down the torso of the woman on top of him until he grabs her ass. When I hear her gasp, I know it’s me. I’m the woman on top of him.

Tears slip from my eyes because this is what I needed. Proof that I wasn’t crazy to feel such intense feelings for a man who is basically a stranger to me. In this moment, as we roll around the bed, I know I loved him, and the look he gives me tells me it’s anything but one-sided.

The memory fades, leaving me sobbing in relief. I didn’t realize how badly I’d been praying that I wasn’t making a mistake. My fingers ache from where I’ve been gripping the counter so tightly. I shake out my hands and wipe my eyes before grabbing my food from the microwave.

I sit and eat even though my appetite has fled. A sense of peace has replaced my fear. A kind of hopefulness that everything’s going to be okay. Even if I don’t regain my memory, Valen and I are building something together.

He’s had plenty of opportunities to walk away. Yet he’s still here, holding on to me as tightly as he can. And all along, it was me who let go. Sure, it might not have been my fault, but that doesn’t stop me from feeling guilty. I know if the shoe were on the other foot, it would have killed me. Not once has he blamed me or gotten mad at me when I’ve treated him with suspicion.

Needing some air to clear my head, I leave my food and soda on the counter. I head out back and make my way down to the beach. I don’t care that I’m only wearing a shirt and nothing else.Valen made it clear that this whole area is private property and virtually impossible to get to without permission.

I look to my left and see the lush green trees that also belong to Valen. It’s a lot. If I didn’t have so much else to worry about, I’d stress over the power balance in our relationship. My tiny house would fit inside Valen’s bedroom. And heck, it’s not even mine.

I breathe in the salty air and let it soothe my frazzled nerves. So much uncertainty has been swirling in my head since I woke up in that damn hospital bed that I feel like I’ve been walking on eggshells, just waiting for the rug to be pulled out from under me.

Seeing the memory of me and Valen together has helped settle something in me. I still have a thousand unanswered questions. Some I could have found out the answers for myself, but there’s an element of fear in finding out who I was before I fell into the hands of a killer. With no friends or family in my life, I’d questioned what kind of person I was. But even if I was a world-class bitch, nothing is set in stone. I can change. Hell, I may have to. The doctors are all hopeful that I’ll get all my memories back, but with so little information about the drug… I can’t help but worry that I might never get them back.

Now, I’m wondering if it matters. I’m slowly realizing that Valen’s feelings for me go way beyond liking me. I don’t want to jinx it and say the L-word, but he’s stood by me from the start and proved he’d stay by my side regardless of whether I remember him or not.

A rustling in the trees has me turning, but I don’t see anything. Standing up, I dust the sand from my butt and walk closer to the water. I dip my toes in to feel how cold it is, and the answer ispretty damn cold. I think I’ll put off swimming for a while.

The wind has picked up, making my hair whip around my face and sending a chill over my skin. As much as I don’t want to go back inside, I’m getting cold and don’t want to make myself sick just because I’m being stubborn. With a sigh, I turn and head back to the house.

The rustle makes me look over at the trees again. When I focus, I swear I see someone watching me. They are too far away for me to make out anything other than that it’s a person standing there, but it’s enough to infuse my body with fear.

I run toward the steps, clipping my ankle on the post as I reach them. I ignore the pain and hurry inside as fast as I can, flipping the lock behind me. I look out the sliding glass door and see them still watching me. The red sweatshirt they have on makes them stand out against the greenery.

Turning, I run upstairs to the bedroom where I left my cell phone and grab it from the bedside table before dialing Valen’s number. I walk over to the bedroom window and look out, but the figure is gone. I scan the area as the phone rings, but I can’t see anyone.

I head back downstairs just as Valen picks up. “Hey, baby. Everything okay?”

“Um...” My heart is racing as I make it to the door and look out. I flip the lock and walk out, scanning the area, looking for any signs of life. But nobody is there. Maybe there never was.

“Rue!” Valen barks, making me jump. I get the feeling he’s called my name more than once.

“Sorry, I’m here.”

“What’s wrong?”

“I thought I saw something, but now I’m not so sure.”

“Saw what?” he growls as I wrap my arm around my waist, feeling cold.

I step back inside and lock the door once more. “I thought I saw someone outside in the woods watching me,” I tell him.

I expect him to brush me off and tell me I’m being paranoid, but I’m not sure why.

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