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Rue
Iglance over at him as we drive back. He’s focusing on the road, but his mind is a million miles away.
We ate our meal, laughed, and talked about a million little things after I made my promise to him. We kept things light and easy, knowing soon enough we’d be heading back to the dark reality that is our lives.
Being distracted, his guard is down, and he isn’t hiding his emotions from me as well as he usually does. Sadness is the overwhelming one right now. I was surprised at first, but after imagining how this must be for him on the outside looking in, I got it. What has me confused is the second emotion beating away at me like frenzied wings. Anger.
There is so much anger coursing through his veins that I honestly don’t know how he managed to hide it from me for so long. I don’t know if he’s angry with me or with the situation, but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t scare me a little. Is this what it means to have one foot in the door and one foot out?
I want someone to tell me what to do, how to feel, to make some goddamn sense of the mess going on in my head. But I’m not sure there is anyone out there who can help me. Valen is the only person who knew me before, and he is holding things back from me. Nathan is biased because of his feelings toward Valen, and there doesn’t seem to be another person on the freaking planet I’m close to.
“You’re quiet.”
I curse inwardly, forgetting how perceptive he is. Whether he’s a million miles away or not, he’s always in tune with me.
“Just thinking about whether there will be pictures of us in the news tomorrow. I forgot all about the paparazzi while we were there. It’s easy when we’re together to forget that there are always eyes on us. Now I’m just wondering if it will lure the killer out of hiding.”
He’s quiet, contemplating my words.
“I don’t know, Rue. I know that’s not what you want to hear. What we do know is that this killer is smart. They’ve been on a killing spree for years without getting caught. I just can’t see them walking into an obvious trap.”
“Maybe, but we don’t think like killers. Maybe they’ll react to seeing me out in public, and whatever drives them to kill will drive them to come for me and damn the consequences.”
He has an odd expression on his face, one I can’t read. I’m about to ask him about it when a sharp pain stabs me behind my eye, and I grab my head.
The pain makes me want to curl into a little ball and sob. For a moment, I do. But then fear numbs me to it, my brain focusing on the overriding need to get out.
I wrap my arm around my stomach and use the other to crawl toward the door, but the room is so dark I can’t tell if I’m going in the right direction. I bang into the wall and whimper, biting my lip so I don’t accidentally scream and reveal where Iam. I don’t want him coming back for me. I have to get out of here.
The panic threatens to override my brain. All I want to do is hide. Hide until someone comes and saves me, but nobody knows where I am. Another sob escapes my lips as I resume crawling. My hand lands on a piece of broken glass, the broken shard embedding itself into my palm.
Tears fall down my face, but I don’t scream. The pain in my hand is nothing compared to the rest of me. It’s just one more thing that will heal, but only if I get out of this godforsaken room.
I keep going, fighting back the panic when a sliver of light shines through the crack in the drapes to let me know I’m moving in the wrong direction. I pause, ready to turn when the door opens once more, and someone walks into the room.
I suck in a lungful of air as I come out of the memory. I snap off the seat belt. “Stop the car!” I scream at Valen, who, thankfully, doesn’t hesitate. He pulls over just as I shove the door open and jump out. Dropping to my knees, I throw up everything I just ate at the restaurant, heaving until there is nothing left in me.
Valen kneels beside me, rubbing circles on my back, murmuring words I can’t quite make out over the roaring in my ears.
Once I know I’m done, I wipe my mouth with the back of my sleeve and look up at Valen. The concern in his eyes is my undoing. I grip his shirt in my hand and bawl my fucking eyes out.
With a curse, he picks me up and carries me to the back of the car. He opens the door and climbs inside with me in his arms. He holds me tightly, keeping me safe as I try to make sense of what just happened.
Eventually, my crying tapers off, leaving me exhausted and emotionally spent.
“Are you okay? You want to talk about it?”
“I just want to go home,” I whisper.
“You got it, Rue,” he tells me gently.
He somehow manages to get us both out of the vehicle without knocking my head on the door frame before he deposits me in the passenger seat. When he climbs in and starts the car again, he links his fingers through mine, offering me a lifeline to cling to until we get home.
It feels like it takes forever, but when the car finally stops, Valen gets out to help me into the house.
He leads me inside and straight upstairs to the bathroom, where I brush my teeth and strip out of my clothes before pulling on one of Valen’s soft T-shirts.
“Do you want me to stay with you, or do you need space?”
