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I don’t know what noise I make, but it’s enough to put Nathan on high alert.
“Rue, what’s wrong? Where are you?”
I look around, spotting a street sign down the road. Breathing heavily, I manage to gasp out the name of the road.
“I’m coming for you. Are you hurt?”
“No. I just need you,” I choke out.
“I’m on my way. Are you safe?”
I look around and hesitate to answer, not sure if any of the guards spotted me.
Nathan growls. “Put your phone on silent and hide. I’ll call you when I’m a few minutes away. Do I need to bring backup?”
“No. Just you. Please hurry.” I hang up before he can ask me anything else and move to the edge of the road and into the trees. I consider continuing on, needing to do something other than fall apart, but instead, I lean against one of the trees and slide down it. I pull my knees to my chest, wrap my arms around my legs, and bury my head.
I let the memories take over once more. Now I know what to expect, and it’s not quite so jarring. Okay, that’s bullshit. It’s all just as horrific as it was the first time, but at least I have nothing left in my stomach to throw up.
I hum a tune, trying to offer myself some comfort. The melody keeps me in the here and now when a part of me wants to shut down and go back to not remembering. All this time, I wanted my life back. I wanted to remember all the little things that made me me. Now I wish I could go back and forget all over again. I thought my story had been erased. God, how I wish that were true. A blank page. A fresh start to make different choices.
I shake my head and restart my tune, hoping Nathan gets here soon. I don’t know how long I can keep it together.
My phone chimes, making me jump. I forgot to turn the sound off, but I’m glad for it now because I lost all sense of time for a moment.
I look at the screen and see that it’s Nathan, and he’s minutes away. I stand up, my back sore from being hunched over. Grabbing my bag, I slide my cell phone into it and make my way back to the road. I wrap my arms around myself and breathe a sigh of relief when Nathan’s car comes into view.
He stops the car when he spots me, jumping out and running over to me. He checks me out from head to toe before yanking me into his arms. I stand ridged in his embrace, knowing I’m two seconds away from losing it.
“What happened?”
“Can I stay with you?”
He pulls back and cups my face, wiping away my tears with his thumbs. “Of course. Come on, let’s get you out of here.”
He bundles me into the car and climbs into the driver’s seat before making a U-turn and heading back the way he came. I close my eyes and shut out everything but the sound of the engine. I feel like my insides have been ripped out.
“Rue, you’re scaring me.”
“I’m okay. I just… I can’t talk about it. Not yet.”
“Soon, though, right?”
I nod. “Tomorrow, I’ll tell you everything. But for today, I just need time to breathe.”
And mourn. But I can’t tell him that yet. He wouldn’t understand. Tucking my hands into my armpits, I feel myself shaking—a combination of being cold and in shock.
Nathan looks at me when he hears my teeth chatter. “Fuck, the heater in the car is broken. I’ve got a jacket in the back seat, though. Put that on.”
I unbuckle my seat belt and reach for his jacket. It’s huge on me, but it’s fleece-lined and warm, so I burrow into it after buckling my seat belt back on. I shove my hands in the pockets and find a pair of leather gloves. I slip them on, too, and finally feel the shaking begin to subside.
“Better?” He looks at me with concern and curiosity.
“Yes, thank you.” I swallow before turning to look at him. “Were you serious about letting me stay with you?”
“Of course. You can stay as long as you like.”
“Would you mind taking me home to get some things first?”
