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“Scarlet?” Mom is on her way down the stairs when I cross through the entry hall. “Did you see your father? Is everything all right?”
How did it take me so long to put it all together? “Thank you.” Once she reaches the bottom of the stairs, I throw my arms around her.
She laughs in confusion before asking, “What did I do? What’s this for?”
“I know you must’ve talked to him. He would never have agreed to let me see Ren if you didn’t push him for a decision.”
She pulls back and tucks hair behind my ears before taking my chin in her hand. “Sometimes, our men need a little prodding,” she whispers. “Now go. Don’t let me stop you.”
I would swear my feet have wings, helping me fly to the door leading down to the underground cells. It doesn’t hit me until halfway down the steps that maybe I should’ve brought him something—a snack, a book. Maybe it’s better that I didn’t since I don’t know if I’m allowed to do that yet. I just earned a little bit of freedom, and I don’t want to lose it by breaking rules I didn’t know existed.
It will have to be enough to reach Ren’s cell and be close to him again. And it is. It’s enough to make my heart swell until I’m pretty sure it’s going to explode from my chest. The way his eyes light up when he sees me, the way he wastes no time gettingup from the cot and hurrying to the bars to cover my hands with his.
This is Ren. My Ren. He’s back… but for how long?
Stop thinking about that. At least my smile is genuine, because I’m relieved, so happy to finally have a little time alone with him.
“Where are your bodyguards?” he asks with a snicker, craning his neck to look down the hall.
“I don’t have any. I can come down here whenever I want now. I made a deal with Dad,” I whisper. I don’t care about any of that right now. Not when he’s touching my hands. It feels so right. I’ve missed it so much.
His eyes darken. “What did you have to promise him?”
“Doesn’t matter,” I insist. “Another tracker. I don’t care,” I add when his face turns to stone. No, the last thing I need is to bring River back right now. Or ever again, for that matter. “Really. Besides, I could’ve used it when they took me to that awful place. If it hadn’t been for you showing up when you did…” I can’t go on. I don’t need to, either.
His shoulders sink as he sighs. “I did this to you. It’s my fault.”
“It was my decision,” I remind him in a firm voice. When he looks at the floor, I squeeze his hands. “Look at me. I make my own choices—you should know that better than anybody. I could’ve said no. I didn’t. Because you’re more important. I have to be with you.”
“Oh, Angel…” He touches his forehead to the cool iron and closes his eyes. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”
“Deserve doesn’t have anything to do with it. You’re stuck with me.” It’s good to smile a little bit. “And you’re not going to be able to get rid of me anytime soon. I’m going to come down here every day to see you. How are you feeling?”
“Surprisingly good.” His eyes are clear and bright again when he opens them. “The doctor came in earlier. She said I had a good session.”
“That’s great!”
“Don’t get your hopes up too far just yet.” When I frown, he explains, “It could take a long time. I mean, whatever is wrong with me was there for a long time. It was there before I even knew it was. You can’t just, you know, snap your fingers and make something like this go away.”
“I’m not an idiot. I know this isn’t going to go away overnight. But I’m not going to stop loving you overnight, either.” And I’m not going to stop loving our baby, even if I know it’s not the right time to break the news. When will that time come? I have no idea. I only know it’s not yet.
“Don’t give up on me, Angel,” Ren whispers, and I have never wished so much in my whole life that I could touch somebody. Hold them. Let them hold me.
I have to settle for looking into his eyes and squeezing his hands tight as I whisper back. “Never. I never will.”
12
REN
“How are you feeling today, Ren?” Dr. Stone asks through the iron bars before quickly following up with, “It is Ren I’m talking to, right?” She is wearing her usual business casual therapist attire, but her hair is down today instead of up in a bun.
“Yes, it’s me,” I confirm, as I sit up and get comfortable on my cot. At least as comfortable as I can get.
“To your knowledge, has River made an appearance since you have been here?” She looks around the small holding cell I’m currently in.
“No.”
“Interesting,” she mumbles with a hint of surprise before writing something down on her notepad.
