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“I don’t give a fuck what you think you can and can’t do!” he bellows, and the sound makes me shudder and wrap my arms around myself. “I don’t want to see you! Got it? What part of that isn’t getting through? Get the fuck out of here and leave me alone!”
He doesn’t mean it. I know he doesn’t mean it. But how pathetic is it for me to stick around and insist I know what he wants better than he does? Especially when he’s looking at me the way he is now, like he hates the sight of me. What if he really does, and I just don’t want to face the truth? I guess if a person spends enough time locked in a cell, they can think all kinds of things they wouldn’t think otherwise. He might even believe he means it.
I must not move fast enough, since he barks, “What is taking you so long? Now! Get the fuck out of my sight!”
With tears clogging my throat and blurring my vision, I stumble down the hall between the rows of cells. I’m so cold inside, shaking, ashamed of myself for still wanting him the way I do. Even after he used my body, I want him. And I don’t know what to do with that feeling. It can’t just go away, not something as deep and profound as what we used to share.
I have a single mission by the time I’m on the first floor of the house: getting to my room before anybody sees me andwonders what happened. I don’t know if I could handle that. It’s one thing for Ren to humiliate me and for his screams to still ring in my ears, but showing anybody how I’m crumbling? I can’t handle that.
So, of course, who happens to be walking down the stairs when I reach them? “Scarlet?” Dad takes hold of my arms before I can get past him, and I must look like hell if he sounds this worried. “What happened? Was it Ren? Did he do something to hurt you?”
“Not the way you mean it.” I run a hand over my cheek to catch the tears that have spilled over. “He doesn’t want to see me. He told me to go and not come back.” I know this is what Dad wants, deep inside. Not even that deep, really. It’s not like he’s made a secret out of wishing I would stay away from Ren.
He pats my arms gently, even a little awkwardly. He’s not a touchy-feely kind of guy. “I hate to see you feeling this way, but you must know he’s right.”
“I knew you would say something like that.”
“And you shouldn’t be surprised you are my ultimate priority. Your safety matters more than anything. And if Ren is determined to keep you away from him, that tells me he cares just as much about keeping you safe as I do. I’m sure it’s for the best, giving him space.”
I couldn’t disagree more strongly, but what am I supposed to do? Arguing with him would be like arguing with a brick wall. I can only tell him what I know he wants to hear. “Yeah. You’re probably right.”
“And who knows? After a few days, he could come around, see things differently.”
“Who knows?” I echo. I’m only saying the words he wants to hear, but I don’t feel them. I don’t feel much of anything beyond loneliness and confusion.
When I first hear feet flying down the hall, it’s almost a relief. Anything, so long as we can change the subject before I start bawling all over the place. Only when Sophie finds us at the bottom of the stairs and comes running our way, it’s obvious something is very wrong.
“Luna,” she gasps. “Where is she? Have you seen her? Scarlet, has she called you?”
“No,” I tell her. Just in case, I check the phone in my back pocket. There’s nothing from her. “What’s wrong?”
With a whimper, she turns to Dad. “She insisted on going.”
“Going where?” he asks, suspicious.
“Home. She was determined to go home and grab some things for Ren. She took one of the cars—I think Frank was driving,” she adds, wringing her hands. “And I can’t get a hold of her. They should’ve been back by now, and she’s not answering her phone.”
“All right, there could be a logical explanation for this.” I hear something else in Dad’s voice, though. It’s tight, like he’s talking through clenched teeth, trying to hold it together for her sake. There is nothing worse than the helpless feeling of watching him calling Frank, seeing his face fall a little at a time with every ring that goes unanswered.
Sophie lets out a broken cry before covering her face with her hands. “I should’ve gone! I should’ve gone with her. I should never have let her go alone. Oh, god, what are they doing to her?”
“One thing at a time.” Dad pats her shoulder while typing something into his phone with his other hand. “We’re going to find her, and we’re going to bring her back. This could all be a misunderstanding.”
He knows better, and so do I. This isn’t a misunderstanding.
It’s another shot fired in a war none of us wanted to get into.
This time, it could be Luna who ends up being a casualty.
19
SCARLET
“Don’t make me regret bringing you along.” Roman looks at me over his shoulder, sitting in the front seat of one of the SUVs in which Dad sent us to look for Luna. “You promised to follow the rules your father set down.”
I can still hear Dad’s deep voice in my head, and I rattle off the words he used before giving me permission to go with Roman and Sophie and the two extra cars full of armed men. “I promise, I won’t do anything to jeopardize anybody, I’ll stay close to you and listen to everything you say.”
There was no way I wasn’t coming along. I couldn’t sit around the house, waiting for a phone call. I have to see for myself what happened to Luna. I only hope I don’t end up regretting it.
