Page 39 of Touch of Chaos


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“Come on. We’ll go upstairs and talk this out.” Dad ushers Roman and a weeping Sophie down the hall and upstairs. He only gives me the slightest glance over his shoulder, like he’s checking to see if I’ll follow. I doubt he’s surprised when I stay put. Like I would abandon Ren at a time like this, even for a minute.

“I need to kill her.” The intensity of his whispering makes me shiver. He’s not even talking about me, but my blood turns to ice, anyway.

“It’s going to be okay in the end.” Do I believe it? Maybe not, but I need to try. I have to force myself to try. “They’re not going to hurt Luna. They need her for a bargaining chip, remember?”

“It doesn’t matter. The fact that she’s with them at all… it’s too much.” He scrubs his hands through his hair, growling as he does. “Here I am. There’s nothing I can do about it in this fucking cell.”

“I know it’s hard to believe this right now, things being the way they are… but you know Dad would never leave Luna there. I’m sure they’re upstairs putting a plan together as we speak.” They’d better be, anyway.

That doesn’t make him feel any better. “A plan I’m not allowed to know about.”

“Or they’re trying not to bombard you.” It’s useless. He doesn’t feel like listening, and besides, I barely believe half of what I’m saying. It’s the sort of stuff I need to tell myself to keep calm, or else I won’t have a choice but to break down and weep the way Sophie’s been doing all this time. It’s all I can do to hang on to myself and not completely lose control. Once that happens, I’ll spiral when Ren needs me to be strong. I don’t want him worrying about me on top of what I know is going through his head about his sister.

“Why did she have to go? Why, goddamnit?” I hate the helplessness in his voice as he slams his palms against the bars between us. “Why did she have to take a risk like that?”

“She was doing it for—” Big mistake. I catch myself before going too far, but not soon enough.

“For me. You can say it.” He groans miserably, hanging his head. “She went to the house to get stuff for me. This is my fault.”

“Don’t even think that.” All this time, I’ve tried to avoid pressuring him too much. Practically walking on tiptoes, afraidto rock the boat in case I end up bringing River to the forefront again. But some things I can’t ignore.

“You listen to me,” I hiss when he doesn’t respond. “You didn’t do any of this. None of this is your fault, do you hear me? None of it. You’re not the one locking people away. Hurting them, torturing and starving them. That’s Rebecca. That’s William. That’s not you. Rebecca made the choice to watch your parents’ house and have Luna kidnapped. You didn’t do that.”

“You wouldn’t understand,” he grunts.

“You’re right. I don’t understand, but I’m trying to. I love Luna, too,” I remind him. It’s not easy to push my emotions aside and get the words out without letting the tears flow.

“I know you do. Fuck, I don’t know what the fuck I’m saying anymore. What is taking so long?” he shouts, looking through the bars and down the hall.

It’s not long before the faint sound of a door opening upstairs catches my attention. The door leading down from the first floor. Quick footsteps echo down the hall before I see Q round the bottom of the stairs.

My heart beats a little faster with every step he takes. He won’t look at me, keeping his attention focused on the floor for the most part, so I can’t see his face long enough to tell what he might be thinking.

When he approaches Ren’s cell, I hold my breath. He doesn’t say a word. He only slides his hand into his pocket and withdraws a key, which he uses to unlock the door. The squealing of the hinges says more than words ever could.

If only I knew whether Ren was going there to save Luna… or to sacrifice himself in her place.

20

REN

My feet feel heavier than normal as we climb the stairs to get to Xander’s office. I look around the house as we walk. This house used to be my sanctuary. Oh, how the world has changed since then. The same halls I used to run down playing with Quinton when we were just boys, now hold guards who reach for their guns when they see me.

“Dad is not going to be happy about this,” Scarlet points out the obvious as we approach Xander’s office.

“Just let me do the talking,” Quinton suggests, and I’m all for it. If anyone can get through to his dad, it’s him.

The closer we get to the door, the louder the voices get from inside the room along with my mother’s sobbing. Q opens the door and we all step inside.

The room falls silent.

“What the fuck, Quinton?” Xander growls, scolding his son. “What the hell are you thinking?”

“I’m thinking that we need Ren right now and there is no reason he shouldn’t help. He already knows Rebecca and her compounds?—”

“We can’t take the risk,” Xander cuts in. “What if he has one of his episodes?”

“River wants the same thing we want right now,” Q points out.

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