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“Because dey can, baby.”
Jeyne looked in the direction of the plantation. “What kind of life is this we livin’?”
Lizzie smoothed Jeyne’s hair. “Willie was gon’ die anyway, Jeyne,” Lizzie said gravely. “We all gon’ die. It’s just a matter of when and what from.”
Jeyne yanked the talisman from around her neck and threw it to the ground. “Why you give me this? Ain’t no protection for us!”
Lizzie held Jeyne firmly by the shoulders and looked her dead in the eyes. “Listen to me,” Lizzie said, “you cain’t cry for everybody. What’s done is done.”
“But Mama—”
“No, listen to me now,” Lizzie said, wiping Jeyne’s face and handing her back the talisman. “Willie ain’t the first dat died by the whip and he ain’t gon’ be the last. The most you can do is keep your wits ‘bout ya’ and hold your heart close. Else you gon’ die each time death finds ya’.”
And sobbing convulsively, Jeyne knew that this was true.
Chapter Sixteen
It was well after midnight before I was able to get away to meet Jeyne. The dinner party my parents had hosted with the Boudreaux’s and LaRue’s was finally over, and everyone had retired to their rooms, drunk and happy. I hurried to my room to change into less formal attire so that I could meet her at the designated place. As I made my way out the kitchen door I ran into Jeb who quickly handed me a hastily scrawled note.Don’t know if I can get away tonight.Jeyne’s note said.Mama has been keeping a close eye on me all day because of what happened to Willie.
“Thank you, Jeb,” I said crestfallen, but not surprised.
“Tread careful tonight, mon homme,” he added. “Folks is scared. We used to beatings, but ain’t nobody died from ‘em before.”
“Keegan’s day is coming, even if I have to do it myself,” I said.
“Tell me the time and place and I’m right there wit’ ya,” he said, his tone low and threatening.
“I don’t want you involved.”
“It’s too late for dat.”
To expect Jeyne to meet me after all that had occurred that afternoon was unrealistic. My desire had caused me to want too much. Nevertheless, I went to the barn and climbed the loft in anticipation, telling myself that I would stay there all night if I had to. The smell from the horses was strong but I endured it. After all, I had done it before. I lay on my back and waited. Time seemed to pass so slowly. Traces of light seeped through the roof of the barn, giving the interior a hypnotic glow. Except for the faint sounds of the party, the night was absolutely still.
Twice sleep threatened to overcome me, but then I heard Jeyne’s whistle and sprang up, instantly alert. Whistling back three times in response, I descended the ladder from the loft as quietly as I could and greeted her at the barn door. Without a word, I closed it tight behind us and led Jeyne up to the safety of the loft. Once there, I held her tight in my arms and told her how much I missed her.
“I can’t stay long,” she said.
“I know.” I sensed her reserve and knew her mind was somewhere else. “I heard what happened today. But know this, Keegan will pay for what he did.”
“When?” she demanded. “How many slaves does a white man have to beat before he pays?”
Like Jeyne, I found myself consumed by rage. I had never been fond of Willie, especially when I found out that he had feelings for her. He was loud and arrogant and lately, I thought, becoming too sure of himself when it came to Jeyne. But never in a million months would I have wished death upon the man.
“Mama said I can’t cry for every Negro that dies,” she said bitterly. “But I can’t just stand by and watch either.”
“You won’t have to,” I reminded her. “Not anymore. We’re leaving, remember. Real soon. I posted the letter to my uncle. We’ll just have to be strong and bide our time.”
Jeyne moved in closer to me. “Thomas?”
“Yes?”
“Say you love me.”
“I love you,” I said, covering her face with warm kisses. “More than anything in this world.”
She seemed to sigh in relief. “Then hold me and never let me go.”
“I won’t,” I promised. “Never.”
