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Abe went quiet for a moment. “You’re right, Eleanor. But let’s not forget, John failed because he was betrayed by one of his own. And traitors come at moments like this -- moments when you’re desperate and needy, so needy you don’t have time to question them.That’show people get killed.”
“Thank you for insulting her twice,” Zach interjected. “We’ve been in this movement as long as you have and we haven’t lost a life yet.”
“Look, I’m not questioning anyone’s abilities or intelligence,” he said, his tone softening a bit. “Far from it. Nor am I one to refuse a helping hand. But help from mystery men always makes me uneasy.”
The tension in the room was thick and for a moment no one said a word.
“Let’s not continue to be so harsh with each other,” I said, choosing my words carefully. “What we really should be discussing is where we go from here, and use the resources we know wecanrely on without threat of exposure. What we do know is that everyone will be watched. The Confederates are gearing up for war which means they’ll be looking for friend and foe alike. And I’d have to agree with Abe. This offer of help seems a little too convenient. People who spring up out of nowhere should always be questioned. And considering the circumstances, we can’t be too cautious.”
“Then what do you propose, Thomas, especially now that you’re leaving?” Eleanor asked, her voice brittle with resentment.
“We accept the changes that are coming,” I said. “We shouldn’t try to force things that no longer fit.”
Eleanor clenched her hands. “Are you saying we disband?”
“Not necessarily,” I told her as firmly as I could without sounding hostile. “But the clock is ticking, and the Confederates are more determined than ever.”
“As long as slavery exists we will continue our work,” Zach said stubbornly.
“As we should,” I said. “Of course, it breaks my heart to leave you but I must. The decision is as practical as it is personal. Over these last few years, I’ve sacrificed much in the way of my life. My home, my peace of mind. I haven’t had a full night’s rest in many years. But I took it on because I couldn’t look in the mirror and be free while others were not. Now things are different. I’m different. This country is different, and I’m afraid the battles over the slave question are only just beginning.”
Eleanor appeared to be on the verge of tears, and everyone else seemed adrift, not sure what to say or do next. The sound of distant horse hoofs stirred us.
“It’s late, mon homme,” Jeb said. “We should go.”
“Where will you go once Bellevue is sold?” Zach asked as we begin to disperse.
“North, of course,” I replied. “But don’t worry. You’ll know exactly where in time. As for Bellevue, it will remain in my custody until I find a benevolent buyer. It’s an uncertain time for everyone. But please know, I’m still your brother in arms and nothing will ever change that.”
Standing up, I embraced them all, one after the other, knowing this could very well be the last time I saw their faces.
Chapter Six
As soon as I returned home from Abe’s, I called Lizzie into the study. “I’m sorry to bother you so late,” I begun, “but I...Lizzie, are you all right?”
She sank into a chair near the fire, clearly exhausted. “It’s been a long day, but I’ll do,” she replied.
“Hopefully you’re not coming down with my fever.”
“Not likely,” she said, waving me off. “What ya’ have to tell me?”
Her tone was direct, all business. She sensed what I was about to say. “You’ll have to go to New York without me,” I said.
“I figured as much,” she said, a flash of sadness crossing her smooth face.
“Don’t worry,” I assured her. “I’ll only be a few days behind you. You’ll travel with Abe. I created legitimate papers for you, just in case.”
“Jeb will be with you.”
I smiled. “You know him. He won’t leave without me. Frankly, I wouldn’t want it any other way. Of course, I’d prefer to have you with us, but it’s too dangerous.”
“For sho’. Don’t test your luck if you don’t have to.”
Lizzie went quiet for a moment and began to absently pull at her dress. “Truth is, I could’ve been gone weeks ago,” she said. “It ain’t like I don’t know what to do. But I’m proud to say, I’ve sent many of my people on the path even when I wanted to go with ‘em. I guess I held back because...well, there’s a few reasons. But mainly ‘cause I didn’t want my heart to get broke twice.”
“That won’t happen,” I said to her. “Not this time.”
“Like I said before, the gift of sight ain’t always a gift,” she said with an audible sigh. “You can see everything and still doubt.”
