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“Do you have a plastic cup? It’s better to do it that way,” she said. I had a bag of solo cups in my pantry. I grabbed one out of the pack and then drank two glasses of water. Jess sat on the couch with me, we both had to wait until my bladder had something to give.
“Who’s the guy?” Jess asked quietly. I shook my head adamantly. I couldn’t tell her that I’d been dating Josh, my current professor. Not to mention, we just broke up so there was no more relationship between us. “Naomi, come on.” Jess tilted her head to the side and quirked her brow.
“He was a fling,” I said haltingly.
“What, you wouldn’t want to tell him or something?” Jess asked. I took a deep breath and pushed stray hairs out of my face. Thankfully, my bladder saved me.
“I have to go,” I said.
Jess was surprised. “That was quick,” she said. I grabbed the solo cup and walked to the bathroom, hesitant. My heart was racing, that was likely why the water went right through me. I used the bathroom, careful with the cup, then washed my hands and called Jess.
She set up the pregnancy tests in the cup and started a timer. After a few moments she took the tests out of the cup and then set them down on paper towels. I emptied the cup and tossed it while she set the timer again. Jerry padded into the bathroom and curled around my legs, purring loudly.
“We’ve got some time. Want to find something to watch on Netflix?” Jess asked.
“Netflix?” I asked incredulously. I felt about ready to vibrate out of my skin. Jess left me and Jerry in the bathroom. I heard her turn on the TV in the living room and after a fruitless minute of staring at the tests, I joined her. Jess put her arm around me and I rested my head on her shoulder. My heart felt like a beating drum in my chest. I wanted to pace but Jess must’ve known exactly how I felt because her hold on me was firm.
I stared into space while the show played for what felt like three days. When Jess’s timer went off, I jumped. She let go of me and we got up together and walked fast to the bathroom. Jess beat me to the tests and stood over them to read the results.
“Jess, I’m going to pass out,” I said.
“It’s…they-they’re positive,” Jess said. My body went cold and I couldn’t make myself step forward to look over her shoulder or do anything. She turned around with both tests held in the paper towel to show me the small screens that read, “Pregnant.”
“I know you’re in shock but you really need to figure out now if you want whoever the dad is, in the baby’s life or not,” Jess said. My mouth opened then closed again. I blinked a few times and thought about not telling Josh. It wasn’t like I was going to stop attending Nova. He’d see me around next semester, he’d see that I was pregnant. Plus, he wanted kids. It would be crazy for me not to tell him that I was pregnant with his child.
“He has to know,” I whispered.
“Well who is he?” she asked. My eyes filled with tears and my chest grew even hotter. How could I tell Jess how much of an actual screw up I was? Someone who had a fling with their professor?
“Naomi, it’s okay. This isn’t the end of the world. We’ll get through it,” Jess said. Her eyes, almost identical to mine, searched my face. “We’re family and I’ll be here no matter what.”
My tears really started to flow then. I’d never heard something like that from my family before. Jess hugged me and I took deep breaths to keep my voice steady. “His name is Josh…we…cut things off yesterday. He’s-um-he’s my professor.”
Jess pulled back to hold my shoulders at arm’s length. She took a breath but nodded and there wasn’t any judgement in her face. Something in me clicked and I hugged her again, really grateful for her reaction. “So, if you plan on telling him, are you prepared to keep it? I’m assuming he’s a bit older than you?” she asked.
We walked out of the bathroom to sit on my bed and Jess kept an arm around my shoulders. I looked at her, at a loss, “I…I don’t know,” I said. Jess nodded, she rubbed my back absently and I imagined getting an abortion. It would be simple and my life would go relatively back to normal. But the fact remained, I knew that Josh wanted kids and it was hard for him to have them. If he ever found out about an abortion, he’d…well would it matter how he felt since we weren’t together anymore anyway. I lowered my head and rubbed my temples.
“I don’t know,” I said again.
