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Chapter Nineteen
Naomi
My blaring alarm startled me out of my sleep and like a maniac, I grasped around the bed for my phone to turn it off and check the time. I had the clinging fear that I’d woken up late and missed my midterms for the day. I had one in every class and I felt horrible. Fatigue clung to me and my stomach felt sour. I didn’t even want to drink water for breakfast.
I forced myself out of bed and got ready for class. Before I made it to my car, I threw up twice. I drove with watery eyes while taking deep breaths to keep from throwing up all over the steering wheel. I couldn’t miss my midterms though because my appointment with the OBGYN wasn’t for another week. I pretty much had until then to decide if I wanted to keep the baby or not, I still wasn’t sure.
I was grateful when I got to campus without incident. Before going to Josh’s class, I had to run to the bathroom and throw up bile. Nothing was in my stomach which made matters worse but I was afraid to eat or drink anything too. I walked into class just in the nick of time. Josh watched me walk to my seat as he always did. There was already an exam and short answer booklet on my desk.
“Like I said, once you have your paper, feel free to start,” Josh said as I got settled. I fished a pen out of my bag and started the exam. I was on my second essay question when my stomach heaved again. I eased out of my seat and hurried to the front of the room to leave. I made it to the bathroom stall just in time to puke. Thankfully there was no one in the bathroom to witness me practically dying in the far stall.
I rinsed my mouth and washed my face before going back to class. One glance at the clock told me that I’d lost nearly ten minutes. I tried to hurry through the simpler questions and saved the other essay question for the end. Before I got to it, though. I had to run to the bathroom again. By the time I got back, I had under ten minutes to write an entire essay. I wrote as fast as I could, not really caring about legibility and finished it at the last second. When I closed my essay book, I sat back and exhaled deeply.
“Close one, huh?” Jacob asked. “You okay?” he looked concerned.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I waved him off. “I have to be anyway. There’s still two more exams ahead of me,” I said.
“Just go to the clinic and get a sick pass,” Jacob suggested. I shook my head and stood up. Jacob walked ahead of me to Josh’s desk. We handed in our exams and I avoided eye contact with him to hurry out behind Jacob. I had to tell Josh, there was no getting around it, but when, that was really the question. I was nervous he’d flip out or worse.
“It’s alright,” I mumbled. My stomach, thankfully, felt as if it had already settled. I got through the day without any more incidents but got home feeling weak and tired. I had to call in to work, which, I never did. I called V after.
“How long has it been since I heard from you? Are we even friends anymore?” she asked.
I rolled my eyes and turned onto my back in bed. “Yes, we’re still friends,” I said blandly. “I uh…have some stuff to tell you though,” I said.
“You’re pregnant,” she said, her tone joking. I paused for too long and then the silence on the line thickened. “That was a joke, you know,” V said.
“I wish it was,” I said in a low voice.
“What?” Her voice was so loud, I startled and almost tossed the phone away from my ear. “I’m coming over.” She hung up directly after that. I prepared myself to tell her what was going on. She knocked on the door ten minutes later. I got up to let her in. When I opened the door, V looked me up and down, her expression was incredulous.
“You look like shit!” V yelled.
“I’m okay, it’s just bad morning sickness,” I said and pulled her inside. V gave me a tight hug.
“Where is the pregnancy test?” she asked. I walked with her to the bathroom and showed her the proof. I left the tests on top of the toilet tank. Whenever I worked up the courage to tell Josh, I was sure he’d want to see the proof as well. “Oh my god,” she whispered. “Naomi, you’re really pregnant!”
I nodded. “Yeah, Josh and I split the day before I found out and I haven’t told him yet,” I said. V blinked at me and then we stepped into my room to sit on the bed.
“Holy shit,” she murmured. I told her the whole story and by the end of it, all she did was repeat that sentiment.
“Yeah, it’s a pile of shit, actually,” I said and fell back against the blankets.
“So…you are thinking about an abortion?” V asked, curious.
“Sort of. I have to tell Josh first, how he reacts is pretty much going to be my deciding factor,” I said. I couldn’t envision a future in which I was a single mother with my child’s dad wanting nothing to do with her…or him.
“What do you mean he’s going to be your deciding factor? Are you going to keep the baby or not?” V asked. I sat up and blinked back an inexplicable press of tears.
“Um…I can’t be a single mother. I just can’t. So yeah, my decision depends on how he reacts—what he says,” I said. V sighed harshly.
“Well, Naomi, you have to talk to him, this can’t be put off,” she said.
“I know…I know. I’m just—nervous. I know that he wants kids but with someone he can marry and have a family with. Not me, his student,” I said. “He could get fired!”
V held up her hand to stop me from saying anything else. “I think you’re assuming and you’re selling him short. You cut things off, not Josh. He might have a good reaction,” she said. “Call him or text him you guys have to talk,” she added.
I closed my eyes briefly, wanting to be in another scenario, in another reality where I was smarter and hadn’t started a fling with my professor, not to mention the having sex without a condom part. While chewing on my bottom lip and fidgeting with the strap of my tank top, I went to the living room to grab my phone off of the couch. I took a deep breath and texted Josh, I told him simply that we had to talk.
