AllFreeNovel
Share Us
When we get to the cavern, I put her down outside it and start a fire before I go in. Finding no inhabitants as I’d expected, I take everything inside and make up a bed for her. I assume Dane and Kallum are here somewhere, and Dane will be able to track us because of the conjure that’s on the Harbinger, but I doubt they’ll travel through the night. It’s just too dangerous.
I put her in the bed, sitting next to her to wait for her to wake.
I’m afraid using her skill has taken its toll on her, but she stirs only a few minutes later.
‘How do you feel?’ I ask her.
She sits up slowly, taking in the light from the fire that bounces off the stone walls.
‘You’re safe,’ I say.
I see her relax immediately, and I frown slightly. When did she start to trust me so implicitly?
‘Water,’ she croaks, and I hand her one of the waterskins. She drinks thirstily before giving it back.
‘How did you do that?’ I ask. ‘Dane bound you. Twice. I saw him. How did you use your skill?’
Her shoulders hunch as she curls in on herself a little.
‘Binding conjures haven’t worked in a long time,’ she whispers.
My brow furrows, and I shake my head in confusion. ‘You could have killed us. Escaped at any time. Why didn’t you, Harbinger?’
She glances up at me, and I’m not sure what I expect in her expression, but the anger I see in her eyes isn’t it.
‘Because I’m not the Harbinger anymore!’ she hisses, drawing a hand through her hair and pulling at the strands. ‘I haven’t used it in over eight years!’
She lays back and closes her eyes, taking a shuddering breath.
‘And fuck you for always calling me by that name, for reminding me of what happens when I let it do what it wants to do,’ she whispers.
‘I’m sorry,’ I mutter, still puzzled by her reaction while also feeling like a prize cunt for never calling her by her name over these past weeks. My frown deepens as I take in her words properly. ‘Eight years? But it’s only been seven. I thought Varrik?—’
‘I refused to use my skill for many months before I got away from the keep. I never used it again. Not even when he—’ She turns to her side and buries her face in her hands. ‘Not until tonight. I killed fifty-six orcs in that camp.’
Her shoulders begin to shake, and I draw back. The Harbinger is crying. Great sobs wrack her small frame.
‘You had to do it,’ I say, putting a hand on her shoulder and trying not to think about how right it feels to touch her after the past couple of weeks in such close quarters. ‘Those orcs were going to hurt you, Lia.’
She stills at my use of her name.
‘You don’t understand,’ she says brokenly. ‘I promised myself I never would again. I vowed it, and I still … Even now, it feels restless inside me, unfurling like a withered flower given water. It wants me to let it out again. It wants more deaths.’ She begins to cry harder.
I’ve drawn her to me, I realize as her tears soak into the thin shirt.
‘I wasn’t going to, you know,’ she whispers. ‘But when I saw you … They were going to kill you.’
I’m glad she can’t see my face when I realize what she’s saying. She can’t mean it. She wouldn’t have let them hurt her, would she? She would have fought back …
I draw back to look into her eyes. ‘You would have let them …’
I see the truth before her expression shutters. ‘You don’t understand. I killed so many before I saw through Varrik’s lies. So many innocents …’ She closes her eyes and hesitates. ‘And there were other things … things Varrik did to make me cooperate. He was so close to breaking me before I ran. That’s why I did it. I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep my vow for much longer …’ She lets out a low cry. ‘And none of it matters. After all that, I did it again. I deserve everything that happens.’
‘You saved me,’ I mutter. ‘You killed them because you had to. I owe you my life.’
She stiffens in my arms. ‘Don’t,’ she murmurs. ‘No talk of life debts. Please. I don’t need that.’
It’s a few long minutes before she speaks again. When she does, she shifts to look into my eyes. Hers are bright and there’s a fervor in them that unnerves me. Has she decided to kill me, after all?
