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His knife. He carries it at his belt. I always see it glinting in the halls as he walks.
I keep my eyes on his, holding his attention on my purple face as my hand feels for it. I find the thick pommel exactly where I hoped it would be.
I’m almost out of time. My vision is going black around the edges, and soon, I won’t have enough fight in me to act.
This is the right thing. Someone should have done killed this cunt a long time ago.
My fingers hesitate at the dark thoughts I know aren’t really mine, wondering if maybe I should just let Yeith squeeze the life?—
NO!
I snatch the blade out of its sheath and drive it between his ribs all the way to the hilt. He grunts, his hand around my throat loosening enough for me to wheeze in a breath.
He falls to one knee and my feet hit the ground. His expression rapidly morphs from angry amusement to shock and fear as he realizes I’ve killed him.
‘I’m sorry,’ I whisper, tears flooding my vision as I break away from him.
I promised that I’d never let this happen again, no matter what. But this is what I do, and now I’ve broken the vow I made seven years ago. I’ve killed. Again.
I should have let him kill me. Better that than having to bear this weight of guilt.
He falls sideways and thuds to the ground. I look down, forcing myself to stare at his face. His unseeing eyes are wide, and his body is still. I sear the sight into my mind, adding him to the mental list I wish I didn’t keep.
But I can’t help it.
I wipe my eyes as I hear a sound. Someone’s coming. With a final look down at what I’ve done, I push away the feelings, letting all of them sink deep to where I can’t feel them anymore.
I run in the opposite direction as silently as I can, skirting around the buildings of the large courtyard before arriving at my original destination.
I slip into the servants’ quarters, glad that someone’s snuffed the candles that light the hall already so no one will see me arriving. I expect the cry to go up any second. Whoever was coming couldn’t have missed him. But nothing happens. There’s no yelling or bells ringing to bring the City Guard.
I get to my room and close the door as quietly as I can, leaning against it and sliding down to the floor.
I take the bracelet off to see the damage Yeith did to me because I already know from prior experience that injuries to my real body don’t show through the magick. Lots of things hurt. I don’t want to go off to sleep and die in the night from a bleed I don’t realize I have.
At least I don’t require a healer, I don’t think. I let out a small laugh that turns into a cough. How I’d even get to a healer tonight or buy their silence for helping a human, I don’t know. I definitely don’t have the money, that’s for sure.
I pick myself up and shuffle across the small room to the looking glass on the table. My throat feels bruised, and I can tell that at least one of my ribs is cracked where I fell. My wrist is visibly bruising already, too, but I don’t think it’s broken. I look into the mirror and wince at the mess Yeith has made of me.
My left eye is almost swollen shut, and half of my face is already bruising from his slap. My throat is turning black and blue as well.
I go to my narrow bed and kneel beside it, drawing out a small chest and unlocking it with the key I keep around my neck. I don’t have much in the way of valuables, but what little I do have, I keep in the box out of sight. Some of the other servants and students alike can be light-fingered, I’ve noticed.
I rummage through the supplies I have, coming up with a long bandage I can use to tie around my ribs and some ointment to take down the injuries to my face, wrist, and neck. Sitting on the bed, I let the now tent-like tunic of my servant’s uniform slide down my much smaller frame and get to work.
I’ll need to be up at the sixth morning bell, and I definitely don’t want anyone to realize I’m injured tomorrow when there’s a murdered troll in the square. That means making sure I’m as healed as possible so that I can work.
I do what I can and lay back in my bed, covering myself with a blanket and trying to ignore the tears that are leaking out of me, making my pillow wet and cold.
Tomorrow is another day, and I’ll get through it just like I did this one. I’ll add Yeith to the invisible record of crimes I need to suffer for.
Another splatter of blood in a crimson book.
* * *
I gaze in the direction Lia just ran and then look down at the very dead troll at my feet. Troll deaths from other trolls aren’t uncommon, and I’m sure the cunt deserved it. Even I could see that he wasn’t going to let her say no to him. I didn’t think she’d kill him over it, though. In fact, I’ve known troll females to rebuff a male to entice him to show her his strength and virility, ultimately bending over for him if she was impressed.
Lia certainly wasn’t impressed.
