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Lust invites indulgence and smelling or tasting her liquid heat last night was very much indulgence. I barely walked away before I plunged myself inside her and started the cycle of mating, pausing for food or sleep, then mating again and again until I was well and sated or she was unable to keep up anymore.
The images of her under me as I pound into her assault me, and the ring restricting my arousal starts causing me pain. I dislike pain and use it as a reminder of what it would be like if I ever allowed myself to indulge in the queen. She would not only own my thoughts as she does now, but she would consume me body and soul.
I have a duty to my king.
I won’t allow my lack of self-restraint to break my oath. When I ask my males to restrain themselves during training so they can keep a clear head and focus on our military targets, I lead by example. If I can’t do that, then I can’t lead them.
She made my plight easier this morning. Dressed in black with a veil covering her face, she reminded me of a fate, and I wondered if she could be one. It seems the fates have taken a fancy to the fae thrones now. Fitting, since those are the places where one holds the most power.
During the funeral proceedings, I stood with my king, who came to pay his respects. When the Unseelie king arrived, more than one person fled the scene.
Sometimes, I wish I had that effect on people. But I don’t. They seem to flock to me, needing protection, guidance, or direction. This is why when I’m tired or troubled as I am now, I prefer my own company or the company of my king, who requires that I only do my duty, nothing more. I can do that. I love what I do.
Once we sent off the departed, King Et’enne and I retreat from the crowds and into the wilderness of the Spring gardens. Unlike the Summer Court’s carefully planned and tended maze of greenery, the nature in the Spring Court’s gardens forms its own beauty. The gardeners have little to no work besides ensuring the plants thrive.
We stand under the secluded cover of a large oak tree, beside the pond with loud quacking of ducks and many buzzing insects, which provide cover for our private conversation.
For a while, we say nothing. My king’s voca magic needs solitude as well. When he’s around people, he must restrain his magic so as not to invade everyone’s minds. This causes him to tire as well, although he would never admit that.
“How do you find your birth court?” he asks.
“Not without its problems.”
“Is that all?”
“It’s also as lovely as ever.” I’m not talking about the court. My friend knows it.
“Lovely enough to break your oath?”
“My oath to you is my life. I have nothing else.”
“You have more land than most aristocrats here.”
“Farmers can have my land.”
“The lands are there to build a home and start a?—”
I cut him off. “How is Fleur?”
A pause, then. “No improvement.”
“Why is he still alive?” He knows I mean her vampire boyfriend.
“For the same reason I told you when you asked me the last five times. Because she loves him. When she wakes, she’ll ask about him, and I can’t be the one to tell her he’s met his final death.”
“It doesn’t have to be you.”
“Nor you.”
In disapproval, I shake my head. “As you wish.”
My king nods. “Will the Spring queen open her season?”
“I don’t know.”
“You haven’t advised her on it?”
Disliking talking about her, I cross my arms over my chest. “Do you have recommendations?”
