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“Evan, it's Jax.”
Jax. The air rushed out of my lungs as relief hit me.
We hadn’t heard from Jax in the two months that'd passed since the last encounter with his father. Despite what Mariah and I said, he’d still been weighed down by guilt that wasn't his to carry. Hearing his voice now lightened some of my burden as well.
“So good to hear from you, man. You got a second for me to get to my office?”
“I won’t keep you. I just wanted you to know I’m coming back… if you’ll have me.”
“How many times do I have to tell you that you've always got a place here, Jax? Don't ever doubt that.” I may not have always trusted the man, but when it came to Mariah’s safety, he’d gone above and beyond countless times. I knew he was one of us now.
“Thanks, man. That means a lot to me.” I couldn’t quite read Jax’s voice.
“Is everything okay? Are you safe?”
“I am.” He hesitated. “It'll be good to see you.”
“You, too. You’re always welcome with us. Don’t forget that.”
“See you soon, Evan.”
When I ended the call, I looked down at Sofia and saw her eyes filled with the curiosity and wonder only a child could possess. I made a silent promise to her and to the life growing inside Mariah that no matter what, I'd protect them. I'd keep them safe, even if it meant going to the ends of the earth or beyond.
I took Sofia upstairs to her room and put her down on the floor, watching as she crawled over to her ever-growing stack of stuffed animals, blissfully unaware of the complexities and dangers of the adult world. For a moment, I envied her innocence, but that was a luxury I couldn't afford. Not now.
A moment later, Abi walked into the room. “Evan, you need to fix things with Mariah.”
“How bad is it?” I braced myself for the worst.
Abi sighed and sat down next to Sofia on the floor. “I don’t know what you said, but I heard enough of it to know you have quite the hole to dig yourself out of. Mariah has locked herself in the bedroom and doesn’t want to speak to me or anyone else.”
“Should I go to her now?” I felt strangely off-kilter, at a loss for how to handle this. Mariah was my mate, the love of my life, but I felt helpless.
“I’d give her a bit of space… at least for the moment,” Abi said. “But this isn’t going to fix itself. You have to be the one to make it right.”
“Believe me, I will.” I wanted to fix it right now, but Abi was right. I needed to give her a little space before I groveled.
My mind and heart were a racing mess of conflicted feelings, and I left Sofia with her grandmother to make my way to the third-floor office. Since taking on the mantle of clan leader, my responsibilities had doubled, if not tripled. Financial ledgers, supply requisitions, security protocols—these things had become my world, and a far cry from the simple days of merely being the alpha’s heir. I’d known what was required in theory. Putting it into practice, though, demanded far more than even I'd realized, especially in the wake of losing Sebastian.
I sat down at the desk, scanning the piles of paperwork. Lucas had been a godsend in helping me navigate the intricacies of the clan's finances. He'd been guiding me through the books, with allocating resources, and was there to support me publicly and privately as I navigated uncharted territory.
I picked up a ledger and started reviewing the figures, but my mind kept drifting back to Mariah. Could I be a good father, a good mate, at a time like this? My attention was divided between so many pressing matters with such high stakes. I tried to focus, but I was relieved sometime later when a soft knock on the door pulled me from my work.
“Come in,” I called as I set the ledger back down.
The door opened, and Abi walked in, her face lined with concern. “I finally talked to Mariah,” she said, taking a seat across from me. “She’s devastated by your reaction, Evan. You need to do something to show her you're committed to her and the baby.”
“Of course I’m committed, Abi. Do you really doubt that?” Did Mariah? I sighed and rubbed my temples. “I know I messed up, but how do I make it right? How do I show her that despite everything, despite all the dangers and uncertainties, I want this baby?”
“Is that how you feel?” Abi leaned forward, her eyes locking onto mine.
I gave myself a minute and searched deep down for how I truly felt. If Tomas wasn’t still a threat, how might I have reacted differently? It didn’t take long for me to recall what it felt like to sense that new life inside Mariah. My mate was carrying our child. How could I not want that?
“Of course it is,” I said earnestly.
Abi nodded. “Actions speak louder than words, Evan.”
“Do you think she even wants to see me? You said to give her time…”
