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Of the four of us, Wyatt was the most reluctant to help Halle and come here. He’s never really wavered from that path, and now I understand why. Since we came to the Sanctuary, our lives have been hell. We’ve been hunted, stabbed, shot at, maimed…
We shouldn’t have gotten involved.
But then you wouldn’t have found Dove.
I wonder if that might have been the kinder option. We’ve ruined her.
I blow out a breath. “I went out there to protect us.”
“That’s what the wards do,” Hester spits back.
I snap my eyes toward the tau female. I really don’t like her, and I don’t trust her either. She says she wants to save us all, but it feels like an act, and it rubs me the wrong way. It is the one thing we can all agree on. Hester’s not someone we can trust—yet.
“The wards don’t work all the time.” The failing magic was how the Order attacked us in the past. She might have faith in the wards, but I sure as hell don’t.
“Yeah, and that’s why we have watches as well,” Cade says, “which you’d know if you took the time to speak to us.”
“We go out in pairs so we can protect each other,” Wyatt adds.
“No offense, but I don’t trust you to have my back out there. I’d rather be on my own.”
“You really are leaning into this whole victim complex you have going on, aren’t you?” Sawyer volleys back.
Asshole. I would love to smack the shit out of him, but he and I are pretty evenly matched. It would be a long, drawn-out fight, and all I want to do is take Dove back to our cabin, away from people who don’t like her. “Fuck you, Sawyer.”
“No, fuck you. We’ve tried to be understanding, even while you’re spouting this crazy shit about Dove being your mate without a mating bond, but this broken trust goes both ways. I wouldn’t trust you to have my back either, Jackson.”
That hurts more than the knife I just took to my gut. These guys were family to me, the only connection I had in this world—at least the only one I remember. I peer down at the grass, my jaw ticking as I try to control my emotions enough to keep from saying something I can’t take back.
“Guys, come on,” Halle whispers, tears in her eyes.
In the past, I would have consoled her and made peace for her sake and the others’, but I can’t do that now. I won’t. Instead, I glance at Sawyer and say plainly, “At least we all know where we stand now.”
When I reach for Dove’s hand, intending to take her back to our cabin so I can clean the blood off both of us, Halle steps in front of me. Some of my anger peels back at the torment swirling through her. I don’t take pleasure in hurting her or my pack brothers.
“You could have gotten yourself killed,” she says softly, her eyes wide and swimming with unshed tears.
Say something nice.
I don’t, even though I should. I steel my spine. “Your concern for me is touching, though unnecessary.”
I start to slide around her, but she grips my bicep. Cade’s whole body tenses, as if he expects me to hurt her. What kind of jerk does he think I am?
“I know you’re mad at us, and you have every right to be, but please don’t risk your life for a decision made out of anger.”
I don’t know if it’s her words or her tone, but something soothes me enough to take a calming breath. Maybe it’s the feel of Dove’s hand in mine. “I’m not trying to risk my life, Halle.”
“I hope not. We love you, Jackson. I know you don’t see that right now, but we do.”
Fuck. My throat feels clogged as I stare at her. How do I stay mad at that? I love her too, and the others, but my hurt runs deep. I’m tired of explaining myself, of trying to make them believe what I’m telling them.
“If you loved me, you wouldn’t doubt me.”
They don’t have the right to judge me for what I do to protect Dove. They would do the same for their mates.
But Dove is not yours.
I ignore that voice in the back of my mind. That’s my pack brothers getting into my head. I don’t care what biology, magic, or whatever the fuck it is that creates the mating bonds says.
