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Silence.
Fuck, I ignore my need for answers and focus on getting us back to shore. It feels like a thousand knives are stabbing every inch of my skin, and my legs are deadweight. If I don’t get out of here, I’m going to collapse.
But my pack is already coming to me. Wyatt reaches me first. I’m barely moving on my own anymore, letting the current take me in whichever direction it is flowing. I’m so relieved when his fingers latch around my bicep, holding me in place.
A second later, Sawyer joins him.
Wyatt pulls Dove from me, and I swing, trying to stop him, but my legs give out and the water comes up to meet my face.
Only Sawyer stops me from inhaling a lungful of it. His grip is iron as he slings his arm around me and drags me out of the lake.
As soon as we are back on dry land, he lowers me onto the ground next to Dove. She’s trembling, her skin so white it is almost translucent. It makes her blue hair stand out even more.
The girls gather around, swarming us with blankets and firing questions that I try to ignore.
Dove’s still alive. That’s all I care about.
“What was she doing out there?” Wyatt asks, pulling his blanket tight around his body as his teeth chatter.
Two of my brothers followed me into the freezing water and saved my life. I try not to read too much into why they did that, considering how at odds we all are right now.
“She said she wanted to live,” I say, leaning down to her. “What did you mean by that?”
The moment of lucidity she had in the lake is gone, replaced again by this silent husk I’m coming to loathe.
I want to pound my fist against the ground, to roar my frustration, but that won’t solve anything or bring Dove back. She wanted to live. How would drowning herself make that happen?
“People who want to live don’t throw themselves into subzero-temperature lakes, Jacks,” Sawyer murmurs, and for once, there’s no humor in his words.
“Maybe we should let the girls take another look at her,” Cade says, his tone careful.
He’s right to be cautious because my instant reaction is to blow up.
“Fuck no,” I hiss, pulling her against me and wrapping the blanket tighter around us both.
“Maybe she went into that lake because she was tired of existing like this,” Apryle says softly.
I flinch. It would have hurt less if she’d gutted me. Was Dove trying to end her own life? Is she so tormented that, in a brief moment of lucidity, she’d tried to kill herself?
I shake my head vehemently. “No. She told me she wanted to live. Why would she say that if she was tired of this?”
I stumble to my feet, clutching Dove tightly against my body. Sawyer reaches for me, trying to help me as I stagger. I take his support, knowing he didn’t have to jump into the lake after us.
I feel a touch against my chest, and when I peer down, her fingers are buried in my wet shirt as she presses her face against me. She has never looked more vulnerable than she does in this moment, and my protective urges flare to life.
“Jacks, let us help you,” Cade pleads.
“No.” My words are not as adamant as they should be, softening in the wake of my pack supporting and trying to help me.
I don’t know how I do it, but somehow I find the strength to walk back to our cabin. Every step is agonizing, but I need her safe, somewhere I can control.
I also need to warm her up. She’s shaking violently. I’m terrified she might get sick. It’s not like she can tell me she’s not doing well.
The cabin is hot, thankfully, when I step inside, but I still feel frozen to my bones. I bypass the living room and go to the bathroom. Still clutching her to my chest, I reach inside the shower cubicle to switch the water on. I set the temperature to cool rather than hot, knowing we need to warm slowly.
Carefully, I release her and help her stand. Those milky-white eyes mock me as they stare through me. What I’d give to talk to her again, to hear her voice in conversation.
I shove that desire ruthlessly down. If this is all Dove can ever be, it’s enough.
