Page 36 of Awakening His Mate

Head fuzzy, my stomach roiling, I clutch my chest as my heart races hard enough to leave a coating of sweat on the nape of my neck.

It takes me a moment to orient myself in the semi-darkness of the room. I’m in the cabin. I’m dry and warm, the covers pulled over me and blanketing me in comfort, but unease still slithers through me.

Instinctively, I reach across the bed needing him, but all I feel are the cool sheets beneath my palm.

Did I sleep through him leaving the bed?

I’m not a heavy sleeper, so it unsettles me that he was able to get up without me stirring.

You nearly died last night.

I ignore that voice in my mind, but as if to remind me of what I did, my ribs give a painful throb. I guess having to be brought back to life is a good excuse for failing to notice Jackson leaving the bed.

Staring at the ceiling above me, trying not to let my thoughts run rampant, I suck in a noseful of air. He hasn’t gone far; I can scent him close by, but I only relax when I pick up on the subtle sounds of him moving around on the other side of the bedroom door.

I don’t know why Jackson comforts me this much, but I swear it feels as if I’ve known him forever. Maybe I have. There are parts of my life I don’t remember. Who knows where I was before I was taken by the Order.

I don’t know what a true mate bond is meant to feel like, but the way he takes care of me and the way I want to take care of him feel intense. It feels right. If we’re not fated mates, then I want to be his chosen mate, but to do that, I’d need to be brought into Cade’s pack…

And that might be a problem, considering none of them particularly like me—apart from maybe Halle—but she also shredded my mind into a million pieces, and I had to die to fix it.

When did life become so complicated?

Slowly, I sit up, my head pounding and pain slicing through my chest. I can’t stop the whimper that escapes my lips as my hand flies to my ribs. Jackson saved my life. I suspect Halle did, too. There was certainly some magic used to bring me back to life, but I’m feeling the effects on my body.

Sure, I could have had Halle heal me and not have to suffer this pain, but part of me doesn’t really trust magic right now—or the girls. I hate to think that; I know what they did wasn’t out of malice, but I’m not ready to forgive it.

I nearly lost everything.

I nearly lost Jackson.

I close my eyes, pressing a hand against my chest in an attempt to stem the pain. After a moment, it starts to ease enough that I can take a breath.

I died.

Correction: I killed myself.

There is a pain in my head, the jackhammering start of a headache blooming at the base of my skull, and my throat feels like I’ve swallowed glass. I can sense my wolf, and she is missing Jackson too.

I stare at the wood-paneled walls, trying not to think of anything and just letting myself feel. After being locked inside my body for so long, it feels freeing.

Jackson’s low humming is what draws me out of my own head. Despite everything, he was always there for me, even when I was lost and everyone lost hope of me ever coming back.

The warmth that spreads through my chest soothes me and my wolf.

I need him. There is no other thought in my head right now than going to him and wrapping my arms around him.

I asked my body to do something so many times without it complying, so I’m relieved when I stand now. I can’t stop the smile that creeps onto my face. I was locked inside my body, like it was a prison or a cage. I’m weak and tired, but I am in control again.

I smile down at the fluffy, thick socks Jackson put on me before he left the bed. Last night, I wasn’t sure I would ever be warm again, but he did everything to ensure I was.

My smile slides off my face as I remember his devastation, his panic. I didn’t want to freak him out or cause him pain, but I did what I had to for both of us.

Pulling his sweater down a little, I blow out a breath.

Time to face him.

When I step out of the bedroom, I find Jackson in the kitchen, making something that smells delicious. A little hesitantly, I make my way over to him, feeling like a nervous teenager.

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