Page 39 of Awakening His Mate


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The kitchen comes into view, wavering, like paint dripping down a canvas, and then it clears. We’re on the floor, my knees are burning, and Jackson is holding my head as it rolls on my shoulders, too heavy to keep up.

“What…” I squeeze my eyes shut before opening them again, trying to ignore the way the room rolls around me.

“What happened?” His words are sharp, but I hear the fear in them.

“I saw… a memory.”

“Of what?”

“You. And me. But… not from now.”

He stares at me, and I wonder what he’s thinking. “Jackson, this might sound crazy, but I feel as if I’ve known you for a long time.”

He doesn’t laugh or mock me. His expression remains as serious as ever. “I feel that too. I can’t explain it, but I know that when we rescued you, that wasn’t the first time we’d crossed paths. I’ve seen things too—things that aren’t from now.”

I let his words swell through my mind, trying to make sense of them. “Do you remember anything from your past?”

He shakes his head. “Before Cade found me, there’s nothing. Just a blank space.”

“Same for me. I remember being in the facility, but I feel as if I was there before my memory kicked in. Does that make sense?”

“No, but none of this does.”

I cling to him, scared to let go. “I’m missing so much of my past. It’s like someone rubbed out everything before a certain point, but the one thing I’m sure of is that you and I aren’t strangers.”

“I know.”

“But it's coming back, even if it’s pieces here and there.”

He grips me so tight that I can feel the bruises already starting beneath my skin. “Whatever happened, I lost you, and I’m not letting that happen again. I know you think I’m being an ass, but I will do whatever it takes to keep you safe and by my side.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” I assure him.

We stare at each other as if we can understand the things that are happening to us.

I place my hand over his heart, feeling the steady thump of it beneath my palm. I’m reassured by it in a way that makes no sense, because I can see he is breathing, that he is alive and well, but that rhythmic beat against my skin is a far more calming balm.

“Tell me about when Cade found you.”

He strokes the apple of my cheek before he leads me over to the couch. We sit closely, his palm sliding into mine as if he needs to be touching every part of me he can. “They found me not far from the house. I was alone in the woods, completely out of my mind. I don’t remember any of it—how I got there or where I’d been before. Cade told me afterward that I was feral. The kindest thing would have been to kill me, but for whatever reason, he didn’t do it. He took me back to the house and tried to help me.”

His throat bobs as he swallows around the emotion choking him. I trace lazy circles with my palm over his heart, trying to dispel whatever pain he is in.

“I don’t know how he brought me out of the feral state, but eventually I did come back to my senses. When I did, there was nothing before I woke up in that cage. I can remember being scared because I didn’t have anything to hang on to. There were no memories of my former pack—if I had one—or of my parents or family. There was just empty space in my mind.

“At the time, Cade thought it was damage caused by my feral state. He told me that I might remember things in time, but those memories never came back. I’ve never known anything beyond my immediate present. I don’t even know if Jackson is my real name. Cade said when he found me I was calling myself it.” He blows out a breath, the sound of it pained. “I owe Cade, Sawyer, and Wyatt everything. I hate being at odds with them. They gave me a home, a pack when I had nothing.”

I wrap my arms around him, burying my head against his chest, breathing in his scent. His arms immediately engulf me, holding me tightly against him.

“All three of them love you; you can see it clearly in how protective they are over you. And why wouldn’t they be? I came to you out of nowhere, and our feelings, the strength of them, don’t make sense.” I pull back, tipping my head so I can meet his eyes. “I was with the Order before I came here. I was your enemy. They have every right to be suspicious. I would be concerned if they weren’t.”

He presses a kiss to my hair, his mouth lingering longer than it should, as if he can’t bear to stop touching me.

“You’re not my enemy, and you’ll never be. You’re everything to me, Dove. I don’t know how to exist in this world without you.” The shred of desperation in his words cuts me to the bone. “Tell me you’re mine.”

“I’m yours. I’ll always be yours.”

It doesn’t scare me to say it. I am his and I have the feeling it’s not the first time I’d said this exact same thing to him. He is mine and he’s always been mine. I don’t need whatever magic it is that binds our kind together as soulmates to tell me that. Every beat of my heart, every breath in my lungs, every blood cell rushing through my body belong to him.

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