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chapter one
kendall
“Are you still in there taking nudes for Thor?”
Choosing to ignore my sister’s latest Viking comment, I yanked my bra straps back up over my shoulders and grabbed the silk robe from the back of my bedroom door, tying it loosely around my waist. I pulled my door open to find Jamie just on the other side of it holding Titus, her girlfriend’s crusty white dog. Titus immediately began yapping, just like he always did at the sight of me. Jamie tossed him onto the couch next to Daya, who scooped him up and held him to her chest.
“Can they receive nudes in Asgard?” Daya asked.
I lifted one eyebrow at her. “Um, what?”
Jamie rolled her eyes at her girlfriend. “She’s not nerdy enough to understand your geeky references, babe.” Turning back to me, she said, “The fry-cuterie board is done. Come and get ‘em while they’re still hot.”
My phone buzzed in my hand, and I inhaled through my nose, almost too nervous to see what kind of response my latest sultry selfie had elicited. I’d put in the work for that one, using my mirror to get both my butt—barely covered by a thong—and boobs in the same shot. My long, blonde strands barely grazed my nipples. In my dark bedroom, only my pink neon heart light illuminated the contours of my body. I often lamented about my thunder thighs or belly pooch, but that night, I was really feeling myself, appreciating every curve.
And judging from the eggplant and water droplet emojis I’d just received, I wasn’t the only one. I smiled down at the three little dots appearing on the screen—he was typing a second message.
“What’s Kurt Cobain saying now?” Daya asked, stroking Titus between his ears.
I should have never shown my sister or her girlfriend a picture of Mason, the Tinder match I’d been texting for the last 48 hours. They couldn’t handle his long, sandy blond hair or the flannel shirt he was wearing in his profile picture. Despite all their Fabio, Kurt Cobain, and Thor comments, however, they both admitted he was “pretty.”
He was so pretty, in fact, I almost didn’t swipe right on him. Guys like Mason with their icy blue eyes, muscular arms, and perfect hair knew how good-looking they were, and damn it, they were cocky about it. But as soon as we matched and started chatting, I got the impression he didn’t do this kind of thing very often. He’d made at least two references to the fact he was a little rusty when it came to dating, and at least four self-deprecating jokes since we’d started texting. And he didn’t even ask for my nudes like everyone else had—however, he respectfully and excitedly accepted my offer to send some.
“He’s still not making a move,” I said, slumping onto the couch next to Daya. Titus growled to show his discontent about my closeness. You’d think the little rat would have warmed up to having me as a roommate after four weeks.
“What’s stopping you from making a move?” Jamie asked, sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of the latest fry-cuterie board on the coffee table. She and Daya had perfected the art of creating a fry-themed “charcuterie” board with a variety of French fries and sauces. It had become a weekend tradition—us filling the air fryer and oven simultaneously with four or five different kinds of fries or tater tots. It was only made complete with an assortment of dipping sauces, arranged in little bowls nestled perfectly along the edge of the board.
I dipped a waffle fry in ranch dressing. “I always had to make the first move with Heath,” I said with a sigh, remembering the way I could literally sit on his lap buck naked and he’d still crane his neck to see the video game behind me. Yet, somehow, the models whose photos he liked on Instagram were still able to capture his attention. Amazing.
How I’d let him be the one to end things with me, I’d never understand. He told me I was putting too much pressure on him. I was too demanding, too high-maintenance. Too… everything.
Funny. For Owen Gardner, I wasn’t enough. But for Heath, I was too much. Maybe one of these days, I’d find someone who thought I was just right? But for now, I just needed to get someone between the sheets. The sooner, the better.
“If this guy wants to see the goods in person, he’s going to have to ask for it,” I continued, watching Daya feed Titus a tater tot, which momentarily distracted him from glaring at me. “And so far, he’s—”
My phone buzzed in my lap, causing me to lose my train of thought.
Mason: Very arty. 10/10. Really making me feel inadequate about my low-effort dick pic
Smiling to myself as I chewed, I quickly typed a response. Daya, curious to see my screen, leaned in so close that her smooth, dark hair dangled onto my shoulder. I angled my phone so she could get a better look. My attempt at breaking into the dating scene was a source of entertainment for her and my sister, which I was happy to provide.
After all, they were letting me stay with them rent-free after my break-up with Heath, only asking that I chip in with groceries sometimes. It was the least I could do.
Kendall: I assure you, you have nothing to feel inadequate about
“Thor sent her a pic of his enormous hammer,” Daya said, covering her eyes.
“Gross,” was my sister’s only response as she dipped a potato wedge in ketchup. I decided to ignore her comment, watching the three dots appear on my phone again.
I was starting to lose faith that Mason would make any actual plans with me. Early in the conversation, we both established we were just after a hook-up, and I’d kept my Saturday night open in case he wanted to do this sooner rather than later.
Yet there I was, eating five different varieties of fried potatoes, nearly giving up on him. I wondered if he was just shy or feared rejection. Hadn’t I been giving him all the right signals? Would I have to be the one to initiate this?
I sighed, distracted by the intricate details of the mandala tapestry hanging on the wall above the couch. A gift from Daya’s aunt in India, it added a pop of color in an otherwise beige and brown room. My eyes traced the pink and purple pattern until my phone buzzed again.
Mason: So when are you going to sit on my face?
Oh my god.
