Page 84 of Love Lessons


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mason

Kendall’s bedroom smelled like lavender and vanilla—just like her, but intensified. And much like her desk at school, her dresser top and bedside table were cluttered with books, notebooks, and all kinds of lotions and sprays. Next to a palm-sized amethyst stone on her dresser sat a wooden incense burner that still contained ashes from the last burn, which would explain the strong lavender aroma. As Kendall sat down on her fully made bed, I took a moment to take in all the details of her room—observing all the things that made her… her. The wicker hamper overflowing with clothes. A row of succulents along her windowsill that looked like they were in desperate need of attention. Pictures from her students taped all over her closet door.

“That looks familiar,” I said, zeroing in on the heart-shaped neon light next to her mirror.

Kendall followed my gaze, turning to the light with the tiniest grin. “I bet it does. Do you want to sit?”

“No,” I answered, perhaps too quickly. I couldn’t risk being on a bed with this woman right now. “I should stand for this.”

“Okay. What is it you want to tell me?”

I slipped my hands into my back pockets and stared into her eyes, almost forgetting the very reason we were in this room. Those eyes had a way of pulling me in and turning my brain completely off. She was so beautiful—which was going to make the words I was about to say even more difficult. “I have to stop volunteering in your classroom.”

“Why, did Owen hire you?”

“No.” I sighed. “I haven’t heard about that yet. No, I’m saying that because of me and you.”

Her shoulders slumped. “Oh.”

“It’s really difficult for me to be around you, knowing I can’t be with you. And I—I hate that I put you in such an awkward position with one of your colleagues the other day. I think it’s probably for the best if I step back.”

Kendall slowly began to nod. I felt a twinge of disappointment that she was agreeing with me, but it was the mature thing to do. “I guess it was just a matter of time before we reached this conclusion, huh?”

“Yeah, and it—” I gave in and sat beside her on the bed, leaving at least a foot between us. “Sucks.”

“I know.” Kendall inhaled deeply, pulling her legs up onto the bed so she was sitting cross-legged, facing me. She looked down at her lap and said, “You’d be so perfect for me if you weren’t one of my student’s dads.”

“I’d be perfect for you? You’re kidding, right? Because I’m feeling like the universe just put this perfect, knockout of a woman in front of me just to tease me. It kills me not to be able to have you the way I want you.” Fuck, that was probably too much.

“What would we do if I weren’t Finley’s teacher, Mason?”

Kendall likely assumed my mind was going to a dirty place—and admittedly, the memory of her naked body beneath mine flashed before my mind for a second. But it was quickly replaced by that silly fantasy I had of her becoming a more permanent fixture in my life. Finley’s life. There was nothing I wanted more than for Kendall to be the missing piece to the puzzle—to fill the void in our hearts.

I hesitated, choosing my next words carefully. Choosing to be vulnerable. “I would’ve asked you to be my girlfriend a long time ago, for one.”

Kendall’s lips parted in surprise, and a soft blush tinted her cheeks. Goddammit, I wanted to kiss that woman. I had to look down at my folded hands to avoid losing control.

“And I wouldn’t be sitting next to you twiddling my thumbs, I’ll tell you that,” I added.

Kendall let out the cutest giggle in response, and I had to restrain myself from looking up. I became hyperaware of her body on the bed next to mine, and though we weren’t as close as we had been on the porch—this was a million times more intimate. For a moment, neither of us spoke, but the silence between us was the loudest thing I’d ever heard. It was probably time for me to go, but I couldn’t get my feet to move. I let out a heavy sigh, preparing myself to say goodbye, when she said, “Can I be honest with you for a second?”

“Yeah. Honesty’s good.”

“The thought of not seeing you anymore is breaking my heart a little bit right now. And I know it’s for the best, but I can’t help but wonder if there’s not… another option.”

“How could there be?”

“Well, have you considered, you know—” Kendall flipped her hair to the opposite shoulder and glanced up at the ceiling with a deep inhale. And then, rolling her eyes like even she couldn’t believe what she was about to say, she continued. “Just seeing how this plays out while keeping it secret?”

My heart pounded in my chest. I never thought Kendall would have been the one to propose the notion of dating in secret. All this time, I’d been worried I’d be the first to beg her for this. But here she was before me, saying the words I couldn’t—and she was even giving me the puppy dog eyes.

Which were totally unnecessary, by the way.

“Are you saying you want to sneak around with me?”

“I think I am?” She raised her hands to the sides of her head in a mix of amusement and agony. “But only if you want to. And if you don’t want to, I take it back one hundred percent and we can forget I ever brought it up.”

I twisted toward her, bringing one knee up onto the bed, and smiled. “So your feelings are completely contingent upon mine? I thought you were going to be honest with me, princess.”

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