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The buzzing is louder now. There’s a strange knocking sound too as I swallow again and again. My eyes itch and I need to excuse myself from the living room now, right now. I slide the phone back into my pocket because I can’t respond right now. I can’t think right now. Can’t breathe. I knew there was a chance he would say no. Long distance was already a stretch. I don’t get to be upset now because I’d changed my mind without warning.
The knocking sound is getting louder as I stand from the chair. My eyes meet Jen’s. Jen, who is mouthing my name and pointing at the television screen. Vic is on his feet too, moving around the back of the couch and full speed towards the door where… someone is knocking? The sound isn’t in my mind? My dad is still on the couch, still smiling, but watching my every move.
“Quinn,” Jen says again. “Quinn!”
I follow my friend’s waving arms—I can go cry by myself in a minute—and watch as the camera pans down the Arctic team bench at the United Center in Chicago.
Twenty men in matching jerseys and helmets are holding up an enormous banner, their gloved hands crinkling the edges of the paper where they hold it. The commentator is droning on about something unprecedented and I barely remember to read what the sign says.
Quinn Cooper.
That’s my name.
The sign is…
It’s for me.
At the end of the row, a televised Vic is grinning from under his half-shield and helmet. His gloved hands aren’t holding the banner, but pointing up into the stands behind the bench. The camera shifts and there is Erik. On national television. In the front row of a professional hockey game. Holding another sign.
I step through Quinn’s front door into absolute chaos.
Vic texted me a thumbs up right before the camera panned across the players and I hope I’ve timed this entrance exactly how Jen and I planned it. It was probably naïve to expect I’d open the door and walk into her waiting arms, exchange some words of love and affirmation, and then have everyone else clear the fuck out so I can spend some time alone with the woman I love. I need to explain that my condo is going on the market this weekend. That by the end of the season, we should be in the same place for good.
And then maybe I’ll see about a nap. I didn’t fly out directly after the game, like Vic and the team, but I took the earliest morning flight I could get a seat on and went directly to my brother’s house with my disgruntled cat and most of my belongings.
Instead, Quinn takes one look at me and bursts into noisy sobs. Not the kind in romance movies, where a single delicate tear inches down the heroine’s unblemished cheek. No, these are like a ruptured dam, water cascading down her red cheeks and shaking her entire body as she gasps desperately for another breath. Her roommate stands behind her, patting her back and mouthing something I can’t hear, Sean sits on the couch looking like he doesn’t know if he should be pleased as punch or if he should murder me, and my brother looks two seconds from bolting out the unlocked door.
I do the only logical thing I can think of. I step forward and wrap my arms around Quinn’s round shoulders and tug her into my chest.
“I hope,” I say. My voice is gravel against her ear and I feel her shiver against me, “that these are happy tears, and that you’re glad to see me.”
She clutches at me, fingers digging into the muscles along the top of my shoulders. I’m pretty sure she’s going to leave little half-moon indents in my skin and my possessive hindbrain wants those marks all over me. I lean back an inch so I can get a better look at her face, and Quinn pulls me in tighter. Her wet cheeks slip over my neck as she wipes her nose on the collar of my shirt, and I don’t even care.
“You’re a fucking bastard,” she says, holding me even closer. “I thought you—your text. I thought you meant—”
“Woah,” I cut her off, strong arming her away from me so she has to meet my eyes. “I’m an idiot Quinn.” I think I hear Jen mutter “yep,” but I decide to ignore that. “And okay, not my finest moment, but I meant it won’t work for me because I won’t be in Chicago and I’m selfish. If I’m cutting the distance between us, then I sure as fuck don’t want you adding it back in. I’m not going anywhere. Good luck trying to get rid of me.”
She swipes the back of her hand over her eyes, rubbing away her tears. Her gorgeous eyes are red-rimmed and swollen, her nose is red, and she’s never looked more beautiful to me than she does at this moment.
“But your job,” she says and I grin down at her, unable to hold back my smile for another second when I have her this close. When our future is right here.
“I’m taking the position at the hospital. All my previous clients are going to work with me remotely or transfer to new therapists.” It had been disturbingly easy to send that email to the HR department and formally accept their offer. It had been harder to leave my old practice, but it had to be done. Taking what I want, putting my happiness first, is okay.
“Your apartment,” she says, and I lean forward to press our foreheads together.
“It’s going on the market this weekend. My realtor just sold another unit in the building and is confident it’ll go fast. I can stay with Vic and my mom until I get a place of my own.” That had been almost the easiest part. Vic had offered before I could even ask.
Quinn drops her voice, so I have to focus to hear her. “You’ll be okay with that much togetherness? I know your relationship is healing, but—”
“It’ll be okay, Quinn.” I kiss the tip of her nose and pull her back into my chest, dropping my chin over her shoulder. “I moved back to fix things with them, too.” I press a kiss to the skin of her neck and she presses back, aligning our bodies.
I might need to recite hockey stats.
“Your cat,” she says and I laugh.
“Don’t send me away, Quinn. If for no other reason than you take pity on Loki and all the TSA workers between here and O’Hare. That cat will one hundred percent ground a plane if I try to stuff him back into that tiny little bag.”
Quinn tries to choke back her laugh, but it leaks out in a watery burst and my limbs thaw as my pulse kicks up at the sound.
