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“It is.” He agrees. “A smart one too. Saw a pretty girl and made a break for her.”
It’s like a tornado whips through my brain, my thoughts scattered into fragments.
“Want to hold him?” Vic offers, and the puppy twists his head back to lick a kiss against the underside of the captain’s jaw. And suddenly yes, I do. I want to hold the puppy and let it lick a stripe along my skin too. I want to brush my fingers over Vic’s as he passes the dog over. Which means I absolutely shouldn’t say yes.
“Yes,” I nod my head too, as though I didn’t just tell myself I would not do this.
Vic’s eyes meet mine and that secret smile stays right where it is as he steps into my body and waits.
We’re almost as close as we were by the car, but now there’s a dog between us, and I’m so aware of Victor Varg’s height and muscles and mouth that I’m not even paying attention to the puppy. The tornado is still howling in my mind, whipping my thoughts around and around as I try to find purchase.
“You need to take him,” Vic says, and I shiver at the way his voice scrapes over my nerves. I hear the click of his throat as he swallows. “Hold your hands out. Like he’s a baby. Then pull his body into your chest.”
I’m grateful for the directions and my arms move to follow them without my conscious choice. Then there’s a small weight passed over. A weight that squirms and whimpers and twists and I stop breathing as the puppy twists to face me, pressing his little head against my throat.
“When my sister was three, she got bit by our neighbor’s dog Twinkles,” I say as the puppy huffs air into my skin. I shut my eyes to block out the memory of Joey’s scream. “He got her in the face. There was blood everywhere, and Mrs. Truett started yelling at us, and I didn’t know what to do. That was the only dog I’d ever met. It wasn’t even that big. Mrs. Truett lived across the hall and she was supposed to watch us after school.”
“That must have been very scary,” Vic says, and I get the sense he really means it. Maybe it’s the small furrow between his blonde brows, or the way he seems to sway even closer to me. “It’s hard seeing our siblings hurt. Did she need stitches?”
I think of the small silver scar over Joey’s upper lip, of Mrs. Truett putting me, Joey, Max, Maddie, Palmer, and Hayley into the hall and closing the door as I pressed my shirt to Joey’s mouth. I remember sending Hayley and Palmer to knock on doors until someone could call for help. Talking the EMTs into letting all six of us ride in the ambulance since I didn’t have keys to our apartment. I walked to the hardware store the next day and made a copy of the apartment key, and we stopped staying with Mrs. Truett.
“She ended up with six. Another neighbor called an ambulance.”
Mom had been pissed when she had to come get us all from the hospital. Even angrier when the ambulance bill came.
“A neighbor.” Vic frowns. “Your parents met you there?”
I shake my head. “I told you, there was no one to take care of a dog. They could barely take care of my siblings. I handled it. I always did.”
There’s silence for a heartbeat and then strong hands slide over my elbows and up my arms. They squeeze my shoulders and slip up my neck before Vic cups my cheeks and tilts my face up to his.
“How old were you, Kitty Cat?” I watch his throat bob. “How old were you when you started taking care of everyone?”
“They split when I was twelve,” I say. “Joey was only two, Hayley, the second oldest, she was seven. It was… messy. My dad had a new family, my mother fell apart, and I took over after that.”
The puppy sighs and licks at my skin and it breaks whatever spell is settling over us like a heavy winter coat.
“So I’m not scared,” I lie right to his face, “I’m just a little nervous around all the teeth.”
Vic smiles at me like he can see right through me.
Maybe he can.
“I could tell you that you should have never had to grow up that fast, but we both know it won’t change anything.” He’s still cupping my cheeks, the puppy pressed between our bodies. “Sometimes life is cruel and unfair. Sometimes it throws us curveballs we aren’t ready for. You don’t have to justify anything you do to protect yourself. You’ve earned the right to keep you and yours safe.”
He drops his hands from my skin and steps back, putting a microscopic amount of space between us.
“My brother and his fiancée have two cats, Loki and Tesseract. They’re pretty cool. I always thought maybe I’d get a cat at some point, but I’m away all the time and I can’t ask my mom to look after a pet for me. If you want, we can get Marjorie to show us some kittens.”
He’s giving me an out. A way to protect myself without having to admit I need to. He’s right that I have the right to protect me and mine. I know it, but maybe Vic’s also wrong. Maybe I’m wrong too, because I’m here holding a puppy and everything is fine. Self-preservation would have denied me this moment. The cuddles, the dog, the man putting my needs first. Maybe….
Maybe.
“Your girlfriend stopping by tonight?”
I can’t see the rookie with my towel blocking my eyes, but I’d know Spaeglin’s voice anywhere. The kid has a habit of belting out pop songs at full volume during after-skate showers. He’s tone deaf, but what he lacks in musicality he makes up for in enthusiasm.
The locker room is almost empty. Most of the team has already hit the showers, stored their equipment, and left for the night. There’s only a handful of us left. The players who had to see the trainers—Ólaffson—or talk with the press; me, Robbie, Spaeglin. A few others are here too. Pelletier always waits for Spags since they share a house, but the general buzz has died down. Even with our win tonight. We’ve played several games back-to-back and most of the guys are currently jonesing for their bed and heating pads. Sexy, I know.
