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“The buffet’s right there. Go get your own food,” I say grumpily.
Wilder is usually more reserved than this, but the guys are all pumped for the game. Normally, I would be, too, but I’m questioning what the hell I’m doing. Did I fuck up by walking away from Luna?
“Leave Coach alone,” Hayes says. “He has a sweet tooth.”
I do have a sweet tooth. Cake, cookies, macarons… I love them all and now every single damn dessert in existence reminds me of Luna and her sugary sweet scent. I shove my plate away. I can’t eat. I may never eat again.
“Did you see all those girls outside the arena when we rolled up?” Hayes says.
Wilder takes another bite of the bun and talks with his mouth full. “One had a sign that said ‘Marry Me Blake Wilder.’”
“That’s because you’re a goalie and she’s never seen your ugly face,” Hayes tells him.
“Fuck you. She was too skinny for me anyway. You know I like curvy girls.”
Hayes laughs and mimics spanking someone. “That’s why.”
Wilder laughs along with him. “Damn right. I’m an ass-man. What do you like, Coach?”
“Eating my lunch in fucking peace.”
They cackle like I’m hilarious.
My phone buzzes and I see it’s Cam. “See you on the ice.” I shove my chair back and abandon my lunch to go out into the hallway. “Hello? How’s Brady?”
“He’s fine. No concussion. They glued his cut, and he’s fine. He just needs observation.”
I sigh in relief. “Good. Thanks again, Cam. I really appreciate it.”
“You’re welcome. Now, can we talk about how pointless this is?”
That makes my shoulders tense. “What?”
“You pretending this is what you want—flying solo instead of being with us.”
“I’m working.”
“That’s not what I meant and you fucking know it. I saw her with you. And you with her. I think she needs all three of us. She’s conflicted. Happy with us, but missing you.”
I miss her, too. So damn much. “But…”
“But what? Luna is so fucking special. If you don't know that, you haven't been around much in your thirty-six years."
Glancing around to make sure no one is listening, I tell him, “I fucking know that.”
Cam goes on like I didn’t say anything.
"She has so much fire, so much personality, and passion and, just emotion, that she needs lots of outlets. And if you don't want to share, Alexsei and I will probably have to find someone else.”
“What?” That has never even entered my head, and it makes me feel like I can’t breathe. Another guy that isn’t me? I swear, my vision actually goes black for a second. It’s like taking a puck to the face.
“Because as much as we can give her, I don't think we can give her everything she needs. We all see her differently, fulfill different things for her. She and I need Alexsei because he gives us the softness, the affection, the cuddling, the hugs. She and I push each other and spar. We both need that, but we don't get that from Alexsei. She and I are…like best friends with benefits.”
“That’s great for you,” I say, even though I think it sucks. Not because they have that, but because Cam and Alexsei offer her something I can’t. I can’t offer her anything. That’s why I exited before my emotions were any deeper.
Which is a total joke. My emotions are already deep and permanent.
“We like fucking and we like fucking Alexsei together,” I say. “But Alexsei worships her. And that’s different from how he treats me.”
