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TEN
CORA
The moans coming from the living room had me going straight into my room and shutting the door behind me. The last thing I needed was to be accused of spying on my sister and her latest beau.
It was the middle of the night. What were they even doing up? Well, I knew what they were doing, but they could at least have the decency to do it in her room.
Pulling off my clothes, I dumped them in the washing basket and pulled on an oversized band t-shirt. It was all I’d kept from my previous boyfriend. He’d loaned it to me when I spilled on my shirt at his house and then dumped me when I wouldn’t put out. I should have ditched it, but it made for perfect pyjamas. One good thing to come out of the months I’d wasted with him.
I flopped down on my bed and yawned, setting my alarm for eight and hoping that I’d be able to drag my ass to a lecture in the morning. Rhythmic moaning still wafted through the house, but they couldn’t keep going forever.
I hoped.
Reaching under my mattress, I grabbed my journal and opened it to the date. Not every day had something notable happen, but I was in the habit of filling out my day, regardless. For once, I had a lot to write.
Ewen had made me feel completely knotted up inside. Like I was made entirely out of writhing, coiling snakes, desperate to burst their way out of me. Every touch made me want more. I’d never had that happen before. I wrote down every moment so I couldn’t forget a single one. Rolling on the bed, I pulled up my t-shirt and stared at my ass in the mirror by my bed, hoping to see his marks. Nothing. Hours had passed, and my skin had calmed too much. With a sigh, I laid back down and wrote about that disappointment, too.
What did I even want from Ewen? It was merely a performance to him, something he engaged in regularly with other people. Perhaps he was at home, possibly in the company of someone else–someone skilled and experienced, someone who’d know how to please him.
I frowned at the idea.
Closing my journal and slipping it between my mattress and the bedframe, I turned out my light and closed my eyes. Ewen’s face kept dancing in my mind. The confusion, the arousal. I’d wanted so badly to reach out and feel his need for me. I’d dug my nails into my thighs instead.
My fingers grazed over the small, moon-shaped scabs that still studded my skin. I closed my eyes, slipping my fingers higher in an attempt to exhaust the torment he’d instilled in me. But my fingers failed to bring any of the tension and desire his touch had ignited.
Eventually, I rolled over with an annoyed groan, punched my pillow, and gave up.
My days had been filled with exhaustion, and my nights with growing frustration. Being surrounded by sex was one thing, but being surrounded by it when I was horny and mooning over my temporary boss was killing me.
A guest was on the stage, having been given permission from the club. He had a rope attached to the ceiling, stringing his partner’s wrists above her as she stood on tiptoes. Her skin shone in the chandelier light as a sheen of sweat stole over her. The whoosh of the whip mingled with her soft cries, and I couldn’t focus on anything but them.
Lash marks criss-crossed over her, thin and red, and they filled me with envy. Surely, I wouldn’t want that? There was no doubt about it, though; I would have traded places with her in a heartbeat.
Warmth flooded my back, and I turned my head to find Ewen standing behind me. Whipping my head back to the front, I swallowed hard. I’d tried to avoid him as much as I could since our display.
‘Can you imagine it? The sharp sting as the whip strikes, the fiery eruption from its bite, and the following warmth flooding your entire system?’ His words were soft and measured, but still wrapped around me like silk.
‘I’m not into that,’ I said, trying to remind myself I was supposed to be Ruby.
‘Funny, you haven’t looked away since they started.’
‘Something can be interesting to watch without wanting to do it.’ Who was I trying to convince? Him or me?
‘Mmm. So you’re telling me that if I slid my fingers beneath your dress, you’d be dry as the Sahara?’
I turned to face him and pulled on my best Ruby face. ‘If you did, I’d have you hauled to court for sexual harassment.’
The reaction I got hadn’t been one I expected. He laughed. ‘Would you now?’
Except that I wanted his touch. I wanted him to force his hands into my underpants without asking. To take what he desired. Wanting that was terrifying, and it’s why I’d never gone further with anyone. No-one had been right or got me feeling so hot that I wanted them to pin me down and take what they wanted.
I still didn’t know if Ewen was that guy.
‘Because I think you’d grind that pussy against my fingers until you creamed all over my fucking hand.’ His voice rasped as his eyes narrowed, focusing on my burning cheeks.
My lips parted as I searched for a retort, the air seeming to have turned to fire in my chest.
‘I wouldn’t. I can’t.’
