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‘No, sweetheart,’ I said, my eyes closing as I rested my head back against the cool wall. The familiar sense of calm filling me while I dove into the distraction of desire. ‘It’s Alfie.’
By the time I made it to the sprawling stone mansion where Ewen lived I was most definitely late for dinner. The home wasn’t mine, but felt like it was. It was the place I resided most whenever I was in Glasgow.
The five McGowan siblings and their partners gathered around the elongated wooden dining table, different takeouts littering the surface. Sometimes I could pretend I was one of them— another brother, instead of being alone in the world.
Sure, I had my hedonistic pleasure castle in the Highlands, which provided me with plenty of distractions. I had my loyal staff members, like Grieves, who were always there and steadfast. I had a syndicate I profited from, but I delegated leadership responsibilities to others after my father’s passing.
What my life lacked was people who were mine. No sisters and brothers. No parents left. Just my lonely self stumbling from party to party, indulging in whatever I craved, but without ever having people who wanted me to be there without it being about my dick.
Chatter bubbled amongst everyone around me as they ate, and I took a breath, steeling my shoulders and applying the usual mask I wore in front of others. Maeve, one of the McGowan siblings, was speaking about not letting her now-adult adopted children into their uncle’s club when I walked into the room.
‘Yeah, right,’ I said, grabbing a slice of pizza before taking a seat. ‘You two just want to get it on in public, I bet.’
Maeve rolled her eyes but fixed me with a beaming smile as her husband, Cam, let out an exasperated, ‘Alfie.’
All gazes turned to me, watching as I bit into the lukewarm pizza. The salty, cheesy taste hit my tongue. Delicious.
‘Where’ve you been?’ Ewen asked.
‘Had a date.’ The less info, the better. The date had been a disaster anyway. Finding myself in the singer’s mouth had been a silver lining, at least.
The conversation continued, and they swept me up in their easy sense of belonging. I ate and listened, picturing myself as part of their family. But no matter how welcoming they were, the reality remained unchanged: they weren’t truly mine. I should have married one of the two sisters while they were single. Wed my way into their circle. Maybe Logan, the eldest of the clan, and his wife, Valentina, would welcome a third into their marriage? They had already welcomed me into their bed…
Reaching out, I picked up my wineglass and refocused on the ongoing conversation. Katie, Mac McGowan’s wife, was grilling Ewen and his paramour, Cora, about what was going on between them. Poor Cora had really been thrown in the deep end. She was a sweet woman who must have been feeling as alien as I amongst the tornado that was the McGowan clan.
‘She’s swept him off his feet,’ I said before lifting the glass to my lips and taking a sip. My eyes widened in surprise as the wine burned its way down my throat, leaving a bitter taste in its wake. ‘Fuck me, what is this shit?’
Around us, everyone burst into laughter. Cora released a breath as the attention diverted from her. She gave me a thankful smile when I winked at her.
‘It’s the first batch,’ Logan said, his cheeks reddening. ‘Lessons were learned.’
When Ewen leaned in close to Cora’s ear and her entire body melted against him, jealousy bubbled up inside me.
I hated it.
TWO
HARRIET
So close.
Alfie walked ahead of us, dodging through the people who had spilled out of the noisy pub to our right. Raindrops speckled my cheeks like fine freckles as I gained on him. We had to catch up to him by the alley, or we’d miss our chance to grab him.
‘Not so fast,’ Petros hissed under his breath. ‘We don’t want him spotting us.’
Blood stormed through my veins as I grew closer to him—close enough to smell his spiced aftershave. My nerves were singing from being so near to finally having him, so I was caught entirely off guard when he stopped in front of me.
Petros caught me around the waist and pressed me against the wet wall of the pub, his body neatly engulfing mine right as Alfie turned. With his hand cupping my jaw, Petros leaned in close to my face, his breath mingling with mine. To all the world, it would appear that we were lovers so caught up with one another that we had to steal a kiss right there in the rain.
‘Don’t let him get away,’ I whispered, the warmth from Petros’ chest sending a wave of emotion through me.
Desire.
Guilt.
Shame.
Petros’ dark eyes swept my face, his expression as neutral as ever.
