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After three years of chasing the woman, the feel of her in my arms is my victory.
I didn’t plan to stay the night, but after rocking her world and the bubble of intimacy between us while I washed her in the shower, I couldn’t leave. Not when I just wanted to cuddle her and listen to her sleep.
Knowing that I have to get out of bed—to leave the warmth of Chip cuddled into my side and lose the feel of her steady breaths—makes me want to stay here all day. But we have a shipment of potting soil coming in this week I need to prep for, and I have to make more headway on the office, no matter that I want to ditch work for the first time since coming back home after college.
I shift Chip until she rolls over, but luckily she sleeps through me moving her as I get up and gather my clothes. After a quick stop in her bathroom to empty my bladder and use a bit of her toothpaste on my finger to brush my teeth, I get dressed and leave.
I stop in her kitchen, but one glance at the counters shows a lack of a coffee pot, and I resign myself to stopping at my house on the way to work.
That’ll get the gossips going.
I can’t remember the last time I did my own walk of shame, but it can’t be helped. If I’m going to survive the day, and the obligatory Christmas Day chat on the phone with my parents on the little sleep that I got last night, I need caffeine.
Silently, I leave Chip’s place, making sure to at least lock the door handle behind me before climbing into my truck and waiting for it to warm up.
After a stop at my place for life-affirming coffee, the morning hours fly by at the nursery. I’m the only one here today, and the lack of people means I cross things off my to-do list faster than normal. By the time lunch rolls around, I’m starving, and as I get ready to pull my phone out of my pocket to call my parents, I spot Gunnar sitting in his truck in the parking lot.
I knock on his window and say, “Hey. Merry Christmas. Why aren’t you home?” The grumbling in my stomach is impossible to ignore.
“I had an errand to run, and Sam kicked me out of the kitchen while she cooks Christmas dinner. Figured I’d find you here so brought you some lunch on my way over to Chip’s place,” he replies.
I spot a stack of papers in his hand and ask, “What’s that?”
“The valuation on Chip’s house. I was just doing a quick read through while waiting for you.”
“Valuation?” I ask.
“Yeah. She just got done with the majority of the renovations and asked me to do an inspection and value on the property.”
“Is she planning on selling?”
He tosses the papers on his passenger side seat and closes the door before he shrugs. “Beats me, but that’s usually why people have me come out and take a look at their properties.”
What. The. Fuck.
I asked her if she was planning on going back to her hometown, and she said she didn’t know. She never said anything about getting the inspection for her property done, or if she was planning to put her place on the market.
“Come on, let’s eat.” He climbs out of his truck and follows me through the empty nursery.
It started snowing first thing this morning and hasn’t let up yet. I thought about heading back to Chip’s this afternoon to give her a hand with shoveling her driveway, maybe copping some more Harry Potter out of her before taking her back to bed, but I don’t know now.
The feeling that we’re at different places at the crossroads of whatever we are sits ill with me.
My mind races, trying to figure out if Chip said anything to me that might give me insight to what’s going on.
“Did Sam say anything about Chip listing her house?” I ask when I draw a blank.
He shakes his head. “No, but who knows when she’d actually list it. Probably in January sometime since real estate is pretty dead through the end of the year.”
Gunnar follows me through the retail area and to the office, the ugly gray of the sky mocking me as I look out the windows.
Don’t get ahead of yourself. Talk to her. Maybe she can tell you what’s going on.
I thought that I made it clear to her that I was in this for the long run. That what we are was not just a one-night thing, but something more serious.
The only way to get on the same page is to talk to her. Stop freaking out. Panic won’t do either of you any good.
The internal thoughts are the only thing that stop me from completely losing my shit, storming over there, and demanding answers.
