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It was that or drag him down to theKeystone PD. For now, Amber suspected that they would have a better chance ofgetting real answers out of him here rather than in a cell.
After a moment or two, Euan nodded,gesturing to the farmhouse.
“You… you’d better come inside.”
CHAPTER TWENTY
“I can’t believe that she’s gone,”Euan said, hunched over his kitchen table, his hands wrapped around a mug ofcoffee. Amber had seen the shot of bourbon he’d poured into it.
Amber was sitting on the other sideof the table while Simon was still standing, obviously ready for thepossibility that Euan might lash out again.
“Can you tell us about her?” Amberasked.
“About Roz?” Euan looked away, andit seemed that he was briefly lost in his own memories. “I met her in the army.She was assigned to the same unit as me as a sharpshooter. She always kept socool, no matter what was happening.”
“Why did you both leave themilitary?” Simon asked.
“If you found me, you’ve read ourfiles,” Euan said, barely looking at him.
“But we still need to know thedetails,” Amber said. “And we’d rather hear them from someone who was there.”
“The details?” Euan repeated. “Ispend most of my time trying to forget the details. I don’t know what tosay. We were out on patrol. There was an ambush. An IED followed by shooters totry to pick off the survivors. Two of us died. Roz was wounded. If it weren’tfor her…”
He tailed off.
“If it weren’t for her?” Amberprompted.
“This is going to sound stupid,”Euan said. He looked from Amber to Simon as if he wasn’t sure how much to say.“It’s so crazy, it’s unbelievable.”
Amber took a guess. “Does it havesomething to do with astrology?”
She saw the surprise on Euan’sface.
“That’s right,” he said. “We usedto make fun of her for it, wanting to know her horoscope every day, thinkingthat it mattered whether Mars was in retrograde, or whatever.”
It sounded like a fond memory, buthis tone quickly turned more serious.
“She would sometimes hold back onops because she thought that the stars were against her, or whatever. Orsometimes, she’d charge forward because she thought she was invulnerable. Ididn’t really believe any of it, but Roz did, and that was what mattered.”
Amber took another guess. “Therewas something in her horoscope that day?”
She saw Euan nod. “Something aboutbeing extra careful. The others in the unit got a little tired of it all. Theymoved forward, which is why they were caught by the IED, but I was holding backwith Roz. That saved my life.”
Amber heard something there in hisvoice that she hadn’t expected: guilt. It occurred to her that this man mightbe here on this farm because he was wracked by survivor’s guilt.
It was easy to feel sympathy forhim, even after he’d attacked Simon. Still, that showed how easily he couldspill over into violence.
“When was the last time you sawRoz?” Simon asked.
“Maybe… six months ago now?” Euansaid.
“Why so long?” Amber asked. “Whenyou live in the same town?”
A flicker of pain crossed Euan’sface. “I… kind of pushed her away. We had different ways of dealing witheverything that happened to us. It doesn’t mean I didn’t care. She was one ofthe most important people in the world to me. It was just… I couldn’t let hersee the guy I was becoming.”
“And what guy is that?” Simonasked. Did he think that Euan was admitting that he was becoming a murderer?
“Look at me!” Euan snapped, loudenough that Amber wondered if he was going to jump up from his seat. “Look atthis place. I’m doing everything I can around here, but it’s never enough. AndI can’t get my head straight, I can’t make any of this go away. I thought…maybe if I managed to fix myself, I was going to get back in touch and now… nowit’s too late.”
