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I close my eyes and seethe inside for a second. Mom speaks the truth, but I still don’t feel ready. I feel like I’d be naïve to think we could just be one big happy family without it negatively impacting Alissa.
He thinks he knows what he wants, but he’s been a single rich hockey bachelor for years. He has no idea what it means to be a parent and until I feel like he could be a reliable father to Alissa, I won’t risk hurting her by giving her a father just to have him potentially disappear again.
“I don’t wanna talk about it, mom,” I inform her very politely. “Did Ali sleep okay?”
Mom nods, “She wanted to wait for you, but fell asleep after the third storybook.”
“I’ll go kiss her goodnight and then have a shower,” I smile then yawn loudly.
I stand, but the way mom is staring at me intensely from head to toe keeps me stuck in place.
“What, mom?” I ask, knowing bullshit is coming.
“You two had sex, didn’t you?” she asks casually as if it’s no big deal.
“A lady doesn’t tell, mom,” and I go away skipping upstairs.
“A woman skipping like that can only mean one thing.” She raises her voice just slightly, and I giggle on my way up. “Did you use a condom this time?”
I ignore her last comment and head to Alissa’s room.
Her bedroom door is cracked open, as usual. The light from the hallway lets her sleep better. I carefully enter to avoid waking her. I just want to give her a kiss.
However, she stirs at my touch and opens her eyes to face me, full of questions.
“Where were you, mommy?” she asks sleepily. “Grandma tried to call you.”
“Mommy was busy, sweet pea,” I murmur, caressing her hair.
“You were with Andrew,” she says, the smile of one who knows something stamped on her lips.
“Yeah, I was with him,” I admit, smiling too. “Andrew and I were just catching up, that's all.”
She nods sleepily, accepting my explanation.
“Go back to sleep, sweet pea,” I kiss her forehead and stand up to leave.
“Wait, mommy!” I’m by the door when she calls.
“What, Ali?”
“Can you read me a story?” she asks, holding up her favorite book.
A wave of relief washes over me. “Of course, sweet pea,” I say with a smile, sitting back down beside her to read.
As I read softly to her, I push aside my worries about Andrew and focus on this time with Alissa.
She falls back to sleep halfway through and I quietly leave her bedroom to head for mine.
I fall asleep feeling very confused about what to do next.
Chapter Seventeen
ANDREW
Itry to call Emily immediately, but she must have turned off her phone because it went straight to voicemail.
I try to call the next day.
