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“Thanks, Ziggy.” I felt obliged to say something.
“What the fuck for? All I did was tell you how awful you looked.” He smirked. He hadn’t changed at all. He was still the smart-mouthed kid. A smart mouth that had almost got him killed.
“Yeah, you bastard. You could have been nice to me.” For the first time in a while, some kind of relief washed over me. I’d built Ziggy up to be a self-centred prick when, in fact, he was as caring as he was when I’d first met him.
Should I share my concerns about Stuart and Damian? But what could I tell him? Other than John mentioning their names, he’d not given me anything concrete, and I’d jumped to conclusions, assuming the worst, as always.
“Call me. I mean it. I gotta dash, though.”
Just when I thought he’d leave, he leant down and kissed my cheek. He sprinted out the door, leaving me in shock.
Although I’d been kissed many times, this was the only one that had felt real. Heartfelt, even, as chaste as it had been.
My cheek tingled from the press of his lips. I touched it lightly, my fingers coming away wet. Dirty bugger. Another tear fell. This brief meeting had dredged up feelings I’d thought I’d tucked away.
Sorrow, anger, resentment, jealousy. Far too many to mention. Bottling it all up had made me bitter and spiteful, unwilling to see past the hate I carried towards Stuart. He’d stolen my life for the past five years. I wasn’t about to let him do that any longer.
It was time I lived again, to damp down the old Liam. To reinvent myself as a newer and more optimistic person.
Perhaps the visit had settled the ghosts living inside me. Perhaps I’d released them, their screams slowly dying down until all that remained was a person who wanted to live again, wanted to be reborn.
I laughed aloud. What a load of bollocks.
The intention to put the past behind me was there, though, and that was something new. To put the past few years behind me and move forward with my life.
The following day, I awoke with renewed energy. I made my bed and tidied my bedroom, as I usually did. I abhorred mess, as Drew had found out not long after I moved in, constantly moaning at him to do the washing up, vacuum the floors, and clean up after his damn dog. As cute as he was.
“Morning, Drew,” I said as he walked into the kitchen. Smiling, I handed him a cup of coffee. Today was going to be the most excellent day.
“I’m suspicious. What the hell is going on?”
“What, I can’t greet my best friend with some hot coffee and a smile in the morning?”
“It’s most unlike you. You usually grumble your way through breakfast, barely saying a word. And what have you done to your hair?”
I’d removed all the bleach and dyed my hair back to its original colour.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you anything but a bleached blond. The warm brown looks good, though.”
Step one of my transformation was complete.
Step two might take a little more time, but I’d promised myself to look after my health, both physical and mental.
I was thinking of joining a local gym, I'd made a meal plan, and I was giving up drinking.
The recent events at the club had put the fear of god in me. The panic attack I’d suffered was worse than any I’d had in a while.
John finding me had been pure coincidence. He’d looked after me when I hadn’t had the mental strength to do it myself.
I should have thanked him. Instead, I’d kicked him out of the house. Shitty behaviour, even for me, so making it right with him was next on my to-do list.
“Breakfast?” The heavenly smell of bacon filled the air, and I opened the air fryer. Cooked to perfection, just a little crispy, but not burnt.
I made us both a sandwich and sat opposite Drew.
He eyed me with a look of confusion. “I don’t know where old Liam went to, but I like this new one.” He took a bite, then moaned.
Yeah, this was good.
